| Tuesday-Thursday,
August 3-12,
2010 New Lessons 8/3/10 The only way you can find nothing is if you are looking for something. 8/4/10 How many sneezes must a man sneeze before you call him sick? The answer my friend is blowing in the wind because germs travel by air. 8/5/10 Nothing is fool proof. That is how foolish a fool is. 8/6/10 My dad's name is Art but other people have names too. 8/7/10 Women who want to keep their own last name when getting married never stop to think that their last name came from their father and not their mother. 8/8/10 Cup pies would be good but they would also be too small! 8/9/10 Pick up lines are the opposites of put downs. 8/10/10 A paranormal investigator is a normal investigator with a parachute. 8/11/10 We have been going to flat screens with no tubes but YouTube has kept the tube alive. 8/12/10 Bluegrass tastes better than rock and rap. Unless the rap you are talking about is the tortilla with food in it. Links: Lessons 2010 |
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| Wednesday,
July 14, 2010 New Lyrics: I want you to know "no" |
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| Monday,
July 12,
2010 Jibber Jabber 2010 Updated • I just can't watch Man vs. Food it makes me hungry, covetous, and jealous. :( • Genesis has NES in the word. GeNESis. So it turns out Genesis does what Nintendid. • So after 20+ years I've finally realized that the pipes in the Mario Bros games may have something to do with the Mario Bros being plumbers. I was 17 before I realized that T-shirts were T-shaped (but of course so are all shirts with sleeves). • Slang words suck daddio • If anyone has an egg crate cushion and 100 eggs to put in it I will lay on it and it will be fun and messy. • Just realized that crackers are white and there may be a correlation between this and its slang usage referring to caucasians. • I don't accept your except. • Who ever turned 21 on 7/7/07 must have had a cool birthday. • So......ap • Easter is the day we remember the death on the cross of Jesus Christ but every day we are to live in His life. • I am eating pre-wine. • Once fought a miner rat with a laser hat in the subway of a floating city, but that is an NES game for you. • And then I typed in this status message. And.. that is the whole story. This is an arrow that doesn't point.
 • My Talk the Talk Challenge for Flower: I am not like a flower because if you blow on me I will not break and I will not bend. So give me my time because I'm always in bloom and my season never ends. • My 5th anniversary of YouTube Story: I uploaded a bunch of videos and almost no one watched or commented on any of them. Oh and my video for Punch My Cat in the Face got flagged. • I am considered smart enough by my peers to where if I say something stupidly implausible people will question basic reality. • I'm taking a poll. Do you think it is ok to take a pole? • What if I intentionally paid the wrong person the right price? • Thanks to U-Verse for never letting me go very long at all without internet connectivity. Unless it is off when I'm asleep.. I better stay awake 24/7 just to be sure.. • Just got the Greater Memphis phonebook and I am thrilled! I thought the regular Memphis phonebook was as good as it gets, boy was I wrong! ... Wait so if this is the Greater.. that must mean there is a greatest on the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!! • Two too much too • I'll remember that right now. • But wait there's more.. if you act now or later • I have grown increasingly fond of bullets. Uh this kind, •. • Friends know each other? Oh now I get it! • It is not good to say the coolest things because that would be cold. • I'm from 11ic-1. • Since I live in the central time zone does that mean I will live one hour longer than those in the eastern time zone or does it mean I will die one hour sooner? • I hate the US because it is a hypocrite but the A is good. • I like stupid questions? • Accidents are a bad addiction. • I know people get bug bites but who has gotten chewed on by a bug? • I over came to a birthday party once. I thought it was bi-annual instead of annual. • When I turn 25 I'll be 300 months old which should I celebrate more? • Da Emp is roll'd time out ferrets.. • Turn your spelling errors into succes! • If you no longer fear me Piemerica.org is a real place of mine with art and sounds and lights (if your monitor is lit). Links: Jibber Jabber 2010 Jibber Jabber 2009 Updated Emperor MAR at the End of the Decade * I can still say 'ot next decade (and the rest of the century) if I word the years per this example "2 'ot 10" Discovering this pains me because I could have been saying 2 'ot 'ot 9 * Getting ready to say goodbye to the last decade of the decade. * Hopes his eastern time zone friends don't ruin his new year. If they do he'll just have to take it out on his Mountain and Pacific time zone friends. * Feels bad for all the kids to be born at 11:59 tonight. They'll have to wait all year for their birthday. Kids born at 12:00 tomorrow will get to have their birthday right at the beginning of the year. Ultra Personal Status Updates * On my 24th birthday: Thanks for all the birthday wishes everyone. This has been my happiest birthday in at least a year and ranks in the top 24 for sure! * Some times I write on my Facebook wall but usually I don't. Look at my wall and do the math if you don't believe me. * Food Dood postponed due to: tiredness, onions, lack of funds/puns, slanted forks, sack of transportations, laziness, September ending, and most of all the 7% left unfinished. Also about injury, fatigue, and a mysterious black envelope * November 7: Just trimmed the longest beard I've ever had. Now I have phantom beard syndrome.  Until last year I thought the message when the Sega Genesis boots up said "Produced by Dr Under License by Sega Enterprises Ltd." Then I finally took a good look and took a second to think and realized it says "OR" not "DR" Links: Jibber Jabber 2009 |
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| Thursday,
June 24, 2010 New Lingo: Emoticon - An emotional prisoner. He was an emoticon of her love. Bootiful - Beauty that is envied. She is soo bootiful. I hate her! Links: Piemerican Lingo |
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| Monday, May
24, 2010 New Lyrics: We are you |
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| Friday,
April 30, 2010 Reviews, Single Link Downloads, In Page Streams, & All Related Artwork now on all 4 MARS releases from 2005 & 7 releases from 2007. |
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| Sunday,
April 25, 2010 Reviews, Single Link Downloads, In Page Streams, & All Related Artwork now on all 28 MARS releases from 2004 including the previously unavailable Backtracking. |
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| Monday,
April 19, 2010 New Comedy Quotes Collection: The Twenty-Eighthornaltude No Census Is Worth These Questions 1. I'm taking a reverse census. Where are you not from? 2. There were here. Where? 3. Which one of you is the other one? 4. If you can read this say "I can't read." 5. Have you met your friends yet? 6. Name someone you've never even heard of. 7. Do you make your own hair, do you grow it yourself? 8. How many books are in your eyebrow?(Zero is the obvious answer). 9. If you had no face would you be able to face in a given direction? 10. Does your clock talk? Does it tell time? Well if it tells time it talks right? 11. If <3 is love is >3 hate? 12. How old was earth on the last Earth Day, that is its birthday right? 13. How long is now? 14. Is this that thing I've heard so none about? 15. Byron Inc? That guy misspelled ink on his sign why would anyone want to buy ink from him now? 16. Hey it has been a while, is one still a number? No Questions Are Worth These Answers 1. Yo yo yo, that is my new invention it's the sequel to the yoyo. 2. I'm so bad at rollerskating I can't even standstillerskate. 3. What is my taste in music? I prefer bluegrass to rock because grass is more of a food. 4. I wish all Canadians would say eh like Fonzie says Eyyy! 5. I'm a man of the world. All of my clothes are imported. My shirt was made in Gatar. My pants were made in Bangladesh. My underwear was made in Honduras. My shoes were made in China. 6. I talk so fast, I talk at the speed of sound. 7. This is not a show but a tell. 8. Running into a Volley of Green 9. Thanks for nothin' because I like nothing. 10. This song is too mellow it should be more mtn dew. 11. Yo Imma roll out, I'll catch you on the flop side because the flip side just doesn't do it for me. 12. I thought mirrors were me because wherever I see one there I am. Links: The Twenty-Eighthornaltude |
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| Sunday,
April 18,
2010 Jibber Jabber 2010 Established: * How many numbers are in a 10? 2 or 10 * Is one the highest number since 1st place is the best? * Do you ever wonder why people wonder about things? * I, as a Food Dood (fat guy who loves food), haven't even dreamed about eating in my sleep (except in actual dreams). * New Net Slang: ">>" for "Right Right" * My real world name is Michael I know it is a rare name you probably haven't heard of it. * How many times can I say comb in the single instance of me saying comb? I think it is one. * Where Wolf * When you are in the mirror how do you know it is you talking and not the mirror? * Train whisk unfurling * Budget knocking pellets * You for an uneight * Where were your teeth yesterday? * How many bugs are in this sentence? * A leader is someone who intentionally guides another or others utilizing his or her collective wisdom, knowledge, experience, and skill. * Alot of people worry about getting old. No matter how old you get there will always be a lot of people out there older than you. The problem is that the longer you live the more people are born and thus younger than you and the people older than you start dying off. * It is invisible except for the solid part. * A blink is two simultaneous winks. * How many people are just one of you? * How many keys are on your keyboard? Wow how many cars or houses do you have? * Do you like to answer questions in sequence? * To someone wearing Headphones: Hey man, why does your necklace start in your ears? * You can call me anytime except now and the past. * How many friends do you have? Name zero of them. * Chronologically what is your first name? * How many times a day do you eat lunch? * My star power is too much because I got a star in cereal and a power munch consumed it. * Have you ever wished you were dead and it came true but you had 3 wishes so here you are now? * This song sucks, it is too short.. oh wait it is still going. * I have lived long enough to know how to die. * So if you are afraid of heights then you fall asleep in caves? * I can sound like forks if I bang them together. * I wish I had an acquaintance who frequently utilized the phrase "my friend" so that I may feel well liked. * toodleoooooohhnooooo * Have you ever high fived your clock at five o'clock? * her blanket is a storch that takes the computer under the linen horse socket * I like your chair, I hate it so much! Links: Jibber Jabber 2010 |
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| Monday,
April 12-Saturday, April 17,
2010 Lesson Mania Week 2010 4/12/10 - Day 1 - 6 Lessons Every day is a new day.. except yesterday and all the days before it. So really today is the only new day. News is ok but of course no news is good news right? Being caught on fire isn't as bad as being caught while on fire because there is more than one person involved in the second situation. If you are pessimistic about pessimism you are an optimist. Preflexes are better than reflexes. There are stupid questions but stupid questions are better than stupid statements. 4/13/10 - Day 2 - 6 Lessons People use the phrase "out like a light' but if a light is out it isn't a light anymore. Flashback Edition (6/12/05) The S in Swell stands for super. Swell means super well. Trying is better than dying unless you are trying to die. A blem is like a minor problem y'know like a blemish. A problem is like a pro blem it has been professionally hired to bug you. While falling down the stairs is bad falling up the stairs is much worse because it indicates that either gravity has changed or you are in something that is upside down. Most entertainment is crap because there are about a trillion stars per person yet no film or record gets more than 5 stars. 4/14/10 - Day 3 - 5 Lessons Age is a state of mind, the state of how old your mind is. A photo ID can confirm your identity. Your face can confirm that you own a photo ID. When someone requests "Listen to me." they are only referring to verbal communication and not other noises they may make. A good idea is to put a pillow in your backpack. It will give you comfort while standing and walking like you never thought possible. Putting a backpack in your pillow is not a good idea unless you have already put a pillow in your backpack. The great thing about performing stunts in a wheelchair is that if you get hurt you already have a wheelchair. 4/15/10 - Day 4 - 8 Lessons Fun Food Fact: Humans invented pizza in the past. An excellent way to earn quick cash is to rent out space in your wallet. Wow! Now this lesson is something! Of course almost anything is something. England is the easiest place in the world to lose pounds. When you use the phrase "More or less" you cover all possible options. Jealousy turns enemies into rivals. The common usage of mirrors solidify the backwards views of some. Fun Food Fact: God invented fruit on the third day. 4/16/10 - Day 5 - 6 Lessons Here's a good 1. If you don't not not have nobody it is because you are too negative! Wheels were put on desk chairs because too many lazy people would lean over and fall out of their chairs to reach for things instead of getting up. Every moment is the greatest moment of itself. Claw hammers cannot be used properly by clawed animals. Manliness has gone from taming wild animals that roar to controlling inanimate engines that roar. 4/17/10 - Day 6- 5 Lessons People sometimes say "Cheers!" before drinking an alcoholic beverage. This is funny because what they are drinking is actually booze. When someone invites you to their home and refers to you as company they are hinting that their relationship with you is not personal. Cursive handwriting is rarely used to write curses. This is interesting because the formal look to the writing makes one wish to oblige to its otherwise violently forceful suggestion. Being fortunate is having unexpected good fortune or being lucky. Being unfortunate is being unlucky. But unfortunate is really just less than fortunate so it could just be regular fortune instead of bad fortune. One day you'll get older and that day is today, tomorrow, and all the days after that. Trains are invisible except for the solid parts. Links: Lessons 2010 |
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Thursday,
April 15,
2010
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| Wednesday,
March 31,
2010 New Lyrics: Nothing to Begin With, Nothing to Begin, Slowing until I fold in half
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Thursday,
March 25,
2010
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| Wednesday,
March 24,
2010 Episode Guide for Food Dood Now Complete Links: Food Dood Episode Guide |
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| Monday,
March 22,
2010 Audio Clip from Golfulating IV added to Chatitude Emperor MAR: Man I got hurt.. Joenan: Really? Emperor MAR: Emotionally that you would do that. Emperor MAR: My camera almost fell out of my pocket some. Joenan: Some? Emperor MAR: It went out a little bit, that's no good. Links: Chatitude, Golfulating IV |
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Saturday,
March 20,
2010
Previously Unavailable Lyrics: The Chair Song (1999) |
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| Friday,
March 19,
2010 New Lyrics: To Run, Waking Up |
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| Tuesday,
March 16,
2010 New Lingo: Bucka Sandwich - A chicken sandwich that costs one dollar. Links: Piemerican Lingo, Urban Dictionary Other Updates: New 404 Page Piemerica 2010 Year in Review, Updates, & Lyric Stats Updated |
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Thursday,
March 11,
2010
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| Return to Top | ||||||
| Wednesday,
February 24, 2010 Piemerica's 12th
Anniversary
Outtakes from Food Dood |
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| Saturday,
February 13, 2010 New Song Recordings: Recorded renditions by SarahEmily or yourromeo from Blogtv of New Not Unwilling, The Rail, Forgotten
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| Wednesday,
February 10, 2010 New Lyrics: Ability is not Independent, A mile, An Hour Other Updates: MARS Songlisting Up tp date New MARS Promo Song Art    |
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| Tuesday,
February 9, 2010 New MARS single from Equal Non-Equal Neutral, Fact of oxygen asphyxiate. |
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| Return to Top | ||||||
| Saturday,
January 30, 2010 Previously unavailable free downloads and new stream options of the MARS albums Sound Without Effect, Yestermorrow, No Answers Are Worth These Questions, Zeatin Cur Parquet, Q & A & Z |
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| Friday,
January 22, 2010 Top 10 Lessons of 2009 (For the 9th anniversary of lessons) 10. If you're afraid of loosing your home you really should have bought a bigger house. Most people's houses are very easy to see. 9. Always keep your priorities straight unless one of your priorities is bending. 8. Don't let the cat out of the bag or people will know you're not a good pet owner. 7. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen or just open the fridge. 6. If you're eaten out of house and home don't build your house out of gingerbread next time. 5. When someone says to you, "It's a small world." tell them to go take a walk. 4. Oven mitts are the best things to catch hot ovens with but you still shouldn't be playing catch with ovens. 3. Sometimes life really stinks but death always smells worse. 2. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, except when your child goes missing. 1. In athletics often pros are cons. Links: Top 10 Lessons of 2009 |
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| Thursday,
January 21, 2010 New Comedy Quotes Collection: Enornal Twenty-Sevenitude 1. Someone should sue Starbucks. They sell litterable litter, literally. 2. I don't ever try anything new or old. I get things done. 3. This is how I how now. 4. I lost all concept of time last.. um... uh.. 5. I only have one arm (on my left side). 6. How many times has someone asked you this question? 7. Anyone who runs into idiots isn't good at running. 8. I'm tired of their he and she-nanigans how many times do they have to be nan? 9. My doctor says yes but not relating to that question. 10. I'm a real vocabulary buff. In fact I just finished reading the English dictionary. I didn't like it though. It wasn't wordy enough for me. Next time I'll read the Spanish-English dictionary, that has a lot more words. 11. When it comes to poetry I'm not poetic I'm poeattit. 12. I like to mess up mess halls to be literal and then I convert them into halls. 13. I could invent a parachute for a parakeet and call the bird a paraparakeet. 14. Ge-off: A woman from the Current in St. Louis took this picture. Emperor MAR: How did you get the picture back? 15. Amnesia is a strange thing. It makes me wonder if I've had it before because how would I remember if I did? There seems to be no way of knowing. 16. Ge-off: Hope to see you in the past? Emperor MAR: Oh yeah seeing me in the past is the easiest way to see me if you already know me. 17. You're so great that on an alphabetic scale with A being the worst you'd be asleep. 18. Food for thought if you can fit it in your tum 19. (While Looking at the night sky). Which one are these stars is the sun? 20. Every time I sleep I live a dream. Links: Enornal Twenty-Sevenitude |
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| Wednesday,
January 20, 2010 Script Bits Page: Massive page of unused scripted exchanges from over the years. Links: Script Bits
Chat Takes 2004 & 2009 Updated:
New Lyrics: Tight fence hard to limber, When your conclusion just won't end, Have You seen the floor? (features recorded rendition by SarahEmily of Blogtv) |
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| Saturday,
January 16, 2010 New Find the Irony: Turn right at the next left. If you're going to leave that on turn it off. Links: Find the Irony Jibber Jabber 2009 Completed: * I'm glad we got big toes instead of thumbs on our feet because if we had thumbs on our feet we could only count to 16, or 16 +4. * I'm like that good kinda good when good isn't bad. * When looking at duplicate photos. "Wow how did you stand still that long?" * The Titanic sank on my wife's birthday. On my birthday a joint American–French expedition located the wreck of the Titanic. * Letters never sent. Letters never written. * Do you enjoy having hours of enjoyment? * Foot start * Unbrella? This doesn't look like a brella to me but I guess that's the point. * Rice less * You're my friend right? You'll read my comedy magazine won't you? http://piemerica.org/pfo/pmag/pm4/info.html If you won't then I'll reveal that Keith Apicary is the real you and that Nathan Barnatt is the real character! Oh no, I just revealed it. Now my threat won't work.. unless I make you forget about it. Hey look over there! There's a MySpace ad on facebook! ... hahaha sucker.. * I was just thinking that right now. * I have too many Ids in my wallet. Who is this guy? * I am wearing a costume. I'm dressed up as my friend Allan dressed up like me. He has a really good costume. * This is the under time of the mofling race? * I was there in the picture and I saw through the screen. * *non-descript emoticon* * Out of the numbers 3 & 1 which is your favorite and why? * you bussing that egg heart? * ain't a lock press the on * I like listen to the wind of nature and the birds who eat bird in surprising places * You want to be a smash hit? Hit something now and smash it! * When I eat eggs they go to my legs they make me feel like I'm walking on pegs Links: Jibber Jabber 2009 New Lingo: Reverse Nosey - One who unneccissarily tells others details of their own life. Links: Piemerican Lingo Other Updates: Piemerica 2009 Year in Review, Updates, Lesson, & Lyric Stats Updated |
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| Wednesday,
December 30,
2009 New Music Releases by MARS: New Album Equal Non-Equal Neutral |
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| Saturday,
December 19,
2009 Boo! Bub? Boo. Bluh? - Food Dood 3rd episode of our full-length sketch comedy show. |
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| Thursday,
December 17,
2009 The Making of Food Dood, Live Behind the Scenes Special |
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| Wednesday,
December 16,
2009 Music by MARS: Final release from 2004, Dismemories now available for download and stream MARS 2009 Release page now has new streaming and download options |
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| Monday,
December 14,
2009 New Music Releases by MARS: New Album Catastrosphere The Ultimate Lawn Simulator & companion compilation Tyrants of the Deep |
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| Wednesday,
December 2,
2009 Emperor MAR on BlogTV First Broadcast, Good to everyone, The Slapping, Chat about me!, The microphone is greater than the pen, Never Streamed, Save Rhyme, Rhyme 2 |
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| Tuesday,
December 1,
2009 Hobby Lobby and A Third Word
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Monday,
November 30,
2009
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| Return to Top | ||||||
Thursday,
October 29,
2009
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| Saturday,
October 24,
2009 New EP by MARS: Links: Outstrumentals Info. Jibber Jabber 2009 Updated Emperor MAR the Fortune Teller: » Do you have any money on you? Let me see it. I see a US American 1974 quarter. That's not a fortune but it's a start. » You're still poor. » Let me read your palm. Hmm I see a Z..V..Y, looks to be some sort of acrynoym. I don't know what this stands for. You're future seems to be unclear. » I forsee you visiting a fortune teller .. sorry my watch is a bit slow. Links: Jibber Jabber 2009 New Lyrics: Cost Mud |
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| Tuesday,
October 20,
2009 Star & Micey Debut Album Star & Micey, a band including Piemericans Ge-off Smythe & Omaha Nebraska (Geoff Smith & Josh Cosby), has their debut album out today on Ardent Music. Emperor MAR gives it 5 stars. Links: Get the album!, Star & Micey photos and videos on Piemerica.org New Lyrics by Emperor MAR: orabrick, Mist Aches, uhri, I'm Sh(u)ore(td), The Stem is Far to Long, Hear Say Settles,..., Don't use nonletters, Never again, *4, Blind Triangles, Shots of a vest., Any help is on the way four fifths of the time, Blank Oval, Safety. Into thin air., Pain, Dog, Light, Why question find more |
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| Return to Top | ||||||
| Tuesday,
September 22,
2009 New Lyrics: orabrick & Mist Aches added to AllPoetry |
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| Thursday,
September 17,
2009 Music by MARS: Previously unavailable download and stream of the ep XGXD Originally released 5 years ago today. |
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| Tuesday,
September 1,
2009 Humorous Emperor MAR Wikipedia User Profile Links: Emperor MAR Wikipedia User Profile |
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| Recent Content Recent Lessons The best part of waking up is getting to go back to sleep. In athletics often pros are cons. If someone tells you to "Get Real" and you do so. Come back the next week and see if they tell you to "Keep it Real." If you don't like jokes about being rich you have a poor sense of humor. Always keep your priorities straight unless one of your priorities is bending. If you're afraid of loosing your home you really should have bought a bigger house. Most people's houses are very easy to see. Read All Lessons, Watch Video Lessons |
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| Classic Lessons If a thug draws a knife on you wash it off. Some people will never learn. The sad thing is most of those people go to school. If you can't beat 'em join 'em unless they're beating you. When the noose becomes the latest fashion it won't last long. Talk is cheap, unless you are a television psychic. If a tree falls in the forest be glad you don't live in the forest. When I'm looking at my folder I have a paper view. When arguing at sea don't go overboard. Never whisper behind someone's back. Whispering is enough. Ice cubes are excellent substitutes for chill pills. Hole punchers are useless. Not all hillbillies are named Billy but they are all related to him. Pollution is good for you. It makes you realize there should be less pollution. Read All Lessons, Watch Video Lessons |
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| Top 3 ways to loose money in a
business: 3. Burn down the insurance company instead of your building. 2. Using the classic sales pitch & then putting it into action, "We Burn Money! 1. Play hide & go seek with the funds |
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| Comedy or Coma? Caffeine free huh? What, that makes it cost like 15 cents less? I'm a real vocabulary buff. In fact I just finished reading the dictionary. I didn't like it, it wasn't wordy enough for me. I love team sports because one part of the crowd is always happy. nah.. oops! dropped some dots I'm going to be a record producer because i eat a lot of vinyl. I don't lik3 it wh2n p712 tal3 li33 this. especially out loud, "lik three it wh two n p seven tweleve tal three li three three this." I remember Living Magazine had a spin off called Dying Magazine. It had a lot of subscriptions but no one ended up paying their first bill. When I yawn it is contagious because I always yawn again. I have a big sore, it is so big it is like a dino-sore. I can spoil any movie from the past 20 years. Ready? They all end with credits. How do you know this site is weird? Maybe this is normal and regular things are weird. |
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Pie is the
greatest food of all time.! If it weren't I really would have changed
the name some time ago.
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