The Golden Log
Sports & Activity
Tae Kwon Dumb
|Sport Lessons (courtesy of our book Lesson Mania! on sale now!)|
- When in a race fall down & yell, "Help!" to slow the others down.
- Mastering the game of golf is difficult, but not as difficult as breathing (in outer space).
- If you're ever playing a game play dumb that way, though you may loose, you won't feel stupid.
- If someone asks you to go fencing with them & you bring your sword. Just run the guy through for being so culturally insensitive.
- Paranoid people need not worry about aliens enslaving the entire human race as long as they do not run in competitiveness.
- Get an old man who used to play a sport to play it again.
If he says, "I'm a little rusty" report this to the government for they do not like androids. (Robots for you dumb people)
- Being forced to compete in the Olympics can be stressful.
That is all.
- The newcomer is always undefeated.
- One of the worst ways to taste da feet is to get kicked in da mouth.
- Fans catch baseball games; the baseball players catch the baseball yet they are the ones who get paid.
- Golf will become hipper when golfers begin to use Butter Putters®, Screw Drivers®, & Potato Wedges®.
- The tooth draft has the most interesting tooth picks.
- Breaking records is like broken records because people do it over & over again.
- With the invention of basketball a white man gave back to black men over time billions of dollars and billions of hours of fun. Seems like the white man has paid in full.
- Second place is the first place loser.
- The reason why old people play golf is because they can use the club as a cane and not look like their using a cane.
- The opposite of sitting is standing. The opposite of walking is standing still. Therefore the opposite of sitting is walking.
- "If you're ever standing around & the sound resounds over the baseball pitcher's mound, it's gonna feel like Kentucky" ~The Wika Wika Guy
- I'm so much of a quitter I give up when I'm not even doing anything.
- Over shooting is always better than undershooting this only works in real shooting not promotional mishaps.
- I tried to punch out a walrus. Not a good idea.
- If I were fatter I could be the heavy weight champion of the world
- I take pride in being the number one biggest waste of potential there is because if i used that potential I wouldn't be #1 anymore.
- I'm too big to get caught.
- To chase the chaser also known as run in a circle
- I'd hate to be water because that means I'd have to run.
- My heart races but it never wins and both are because I'm out of shape.
- I walked by a sign that said "Slow 15 miles an hour" & I was like "Slow?! I can't go that fast to begin with!"
- I've never broken my leg before but one time a baseball bat did.
- A Dyslexic Race: Whomever can drive the fastest backwards wins.
- I'm not a professional, I'm a poefessional but that is still better than a confessional because I ain't in jail.
- I wrote the quitter's anthem, well I never finished it.
- Keep the Tennis Down
- I love team sports because one part of the crowd is always happy.
- The first step towards walking is walking.
- Able bodied able minded but not willing Well not able bodied
- Emperor MAR always wins in terms of losing
- I'll be a sky diver until I hit the ground.
- lonerwholifts: bench press?
Emperor MAR: I'm a Christian but I prefer for benches to press me without movement (sit)
- Emperor MAR: Is that the golf course over there?
Joenan: Of course it is.
- R4: i love orange sherbet push ups!
Emperor MAR: yeah but it does hurt the purpose of the exercise of push ups
- Why is Nestle Quik so slow in a foot race?
- Insects are tough. You ever punched a fly? Neither have I they're too fast.
- I don't roll I stroll or is that stroke? (death wise)
- People seem to hate hate, those hypocrites! Prejudice against all racists Jogists against all tad poles & on & on it goes
- If I had a hammer I'd chisel my physique
- Give me a brief description to jog (i don't want to run) my memory
- I'm gonna start walking & then gradually walk faster to find out if I speed up. Wow that didn't take long.
- I could be a quarter back or a running back but I couldn't be a wide receiver. I got the wide part but I just wasn't good at receiving.
- Leg Foot
Origin: An idea to use nouns in place of verbs -around 2000
Definition: A Mexican Exercise
Origin: Golfulating IV Audio -5/30/05
Definition: A hip sidewalk
Origin: (The Joe)'s Autobiography Siesta Ch.
Definition: A yet unefined Piemerican Martial Art
Link: A song titled Mathetactics appears on the 2008 MARS album Today & The Years Gone Bye
The Official Piemerican Sports
(The Joe)'s Autobiography: World Heavyweight Champion
Videos: Snowy Falley Water McFall Snow- Round 1, Round 2
(The Joe)'s Worthless Advice Oven: Losers
Piemerica's Advice Oven: Let the Good Times Bowl
Scripts: Secondary Sports Draft, Secondary Sports, Rope Life , 'ot 5 Review
Flyer: Piemerican Fun Run
Piemerican Knews: Risky Lung Train, Principal Heeken Wins Book Lifting Contest, Just out of Beach, Shot Gun Shot
Ads: Heart Attack Powder 2000, Heart Attack Powder 2000- Olympic Sponsor, Beaties
Public Classifieds: Roller Blades, Bowling Shoes
Comics: The darkened Reality of Real-Estate Episode D- Hun Gree, Are the(y) children(?), Frozen Ninja Training, Funny, Happy, Diver,, Winners & Quitters, Salesman's pitch, Courtyard Basketsign
Photo Galleries: Trampoline Terror, Playing A Ground, Golfulating
High School Journals: What is your favorite thing about Homecoming week?, What would you change to make homecoming better?, What would you do to Change Homecoming?, How important are sports in school?
Video: Emperor MAR shamelessly in the audience of Memphis Wrestling