- I need your help. The evil Dr. Scientist is going to turn all the world's beans into rabbits.
This will wreck the world's economy because rabbits are harder to prepare than beans.
- What is a pact? Is that like when you squeeze the glass jelly jar really hard?
Conan O'Brien Twitter Bio Suggestions
- I was at the carnival last month and I got mugged! Yeah they had this great booth where they put your face on a mug. I love it!
- I'm reading a Reader's Digest my wife brought home. I like it but it is not back lit! What is this 1992?
Chuck Norris Style Jokes for Ray Amsley
- Tom Hanks named me CoCo now I'm naming Him ToTo. #TeamToTo
- COB in LA on TBS & T (Twitter doesn't abbreviate well).
- Yes, I know the FedEx Pope. Jealous?
- Hi this is Aaron Bleyaert because Conan doesn't know how to tweet by himself yet.
- Welcome to the Cone Zone
- Ray Amsley eats lightning and his leg regurgitates it onto your FACE!
- Ray Amsley taught Gawl Senglelis every action sequence pro that he knows.
- Ray Amsley knows all the vowels, including the six you've never heard of.
- Rain forests aren't cut down by loggers. The trees commit suicide when they realize that they can never be Ray Amsley's leg.
time Ray Amsley fell asleep in the woods and the moss that gathered on
his leg was used to make the ooze that mutated the Teenage Mutant Amsley
Turtles. They were later renamed the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
because ninjas are considered less violent than Ray Amsley.
Amsley was going to star in Streets of Rage 4 but "Rage" and "4"
weren't superlative enough to describe Ray Amsley. But Ray still grand
uppers someone every time you press "A" on your Sega Genesis controller.
- Ray Amsley doesn't need a Blockbuster Rewards card. He rewards
Blockbuster every time he walks into one because his mere presence
makes every action scene in every movie 15 minutes longer. This is also
why Ray is banned from standing next to the internet.
- Mega Man
is based on Ray Amsley but the wooden leg was changed to the mega buster
because the game was too easy with the wooden leg.