always stuck typing "shorthand" instead of writing it. Lousy technology
that lets me tell jokes to the world instantly with potential feedback.
I'm gonna get history for my birthday and that'll show me not to
- I didn't know what they were before they existed either.
- I knew it! ..now that I've read what you told me.
- I am no stranger to people I've met.
- Trash is misunderstood like King Kong
I'm brain thingy for thought gettings were yeah. Maybe I'm an idiocy
perfectionist but it took a lot of thought to say something so stupid
- You guys are actually getting a good work out if you are
laughing. You're burning a lot of calories and tightening your abs. Come
see me every night. My show costs less than a personal trainer.
- What is your favorite court: tennis, basketball, or judicial?
- What makes you tick, Swiss engineering?
- Ahhh I like eating under waterfalls
- I ain't no lie I'm a man.
- some people like climbing puddles y'know
- Thanks to Jesus now I only feel empty inside when I'm hungry!
- Cruise control could be called coasting.
- That football player casts a long shadow, that can't be good for his kids.
- Most people can only count from 1-10 on their fingers but I can count from 1-17 using Roman Numerals.
- Blahblahblahblahblah toad with a mowhawk Blahblahblahblahblah
relationship trouble Blahblahblahblahblah crazy relatives
Blahblahblahblahblah PUNCHLINE Blahblahblahblahblah & that's how Jim
used his space heater as an eyedropper.
- I don't do any
celebrity impersonations vocally but I do do any impersonation of the
back of Tom Cruise's hand. Google that hand, this is a good