Jibber Jabber 2008

Emperor MAR heads Piemerica.org a conglomeration of original entertainment. He has authored two books, and has produced his own magazine and sketch comedy show.

I'm so bored I've got splinters.

I have a lot of useless knowledge but only because I don’t use it.

I don't give a hoot, I don't like reading books.

I learned to read in a book.

I'm from Canada. Ever been to Canada? No? Me neither. I just made that up so people would laugh. Canada is that much of a  joke now. Canada.. ha!
I don't like it when people make jokes at my expense (make cash sign). (if no laughs) I can't stand to lose the money.
I'd work harder but I'm afraid I'd be arrested.

“Sweet Corn I love swee corn” And that's the worst impression of *Lenord Nemoy* you'll ever hear. If not that's a lie & I'm sorry Sorry that you'll have to hear a worse impression of ** than that.

In doing stand up or public speaking people are often told to be yourself. Well I had a problem with doing as such. Because I don't talk to people behind a microphone in the majority of my life. If I were to truly be myself I would be sleeping or sitting at home hoping someone would call me on the phone. I will give you my phone number after the show if you ask me. If the number is more than 7-10 numbers in length that means I was just joking while I was on stage which is obvious you'd think. And also the number I'd give you would be the cereal number off of my phone so that way you can't say I've lied to you.

I'm a new comedian so I'd like for you to help me out. Whenever I say something funny let me know by laughing. At first I didn't think I needed this disclaimer until I noticed that no one was laughing at me. I assume it was because they thought that I perceived their silence as "implied consent"

When they first came out with shredded cheese I was like “No way! You can’t make cheese better. This is stupid.” I was so wrong.
Comedy Club, We’ll Knock You silly.
I tell the same jokes everywhere I go. And people are like ‘you’re kidding right?” & I’m like “of course isn’t that the point?”

I dreampt that you were in a field chasing rats when you caught a cute & furry one & claimed it as a pet. Then you drove away inside my fridge.

I made some photos of this procedure but don't have time to give them up yet. Take disc place in computer disc drive. Browse disc folder and find mp3 of my albums from last year. Enjoy Coke aaahhhh the joy of Cola in my colon. Wait doesn't drink go into the bladder instead? Yes. Coke aaahhhh Cola, the flavor that stays with you a looong time.

Same look same great taste

Don’t feel bad blue car.

Name:  Sommame

I invested in a permanent jacket grabs fat one which I can’t forget to take with me.

Old:  We made it a state in 1903. Before we ever knew it could be. We’ve got a lot of fake history.

*Sleeping on the floor then waking up.* I must have fell asleep.

If that's baby fat how much did he weigh when he was born?

"gets phone call from drive way" Wow that was a close call

2 days, that isn't that long, I've been slacking at slacking. And they said I could stop being a slacker, yeah right.

If I spill tea on my long sleeve shirt does that make it a tea shirt?

Tasteless joke of the week:  The Dark Knight. I bet the joker dies at the end.

You mean history took place in the past? That makes sense, how else would we know such things.

You don't need advice. You need to subtract vice.

Whenever I eat glass it tastes like iron.

Mentor, Mentee (Minty)

Every date is free all you have to do is live long enough.

B.Not this
C. All of the above

Wow I didn't know jail was free. Ruins life.

Greetings citizen. I am well in a well without water because I was a flushed bit thirsty.   (right now)

Sign indicaties "Snakes Ahead"

Sign indicates "Arrows Ahead"

You room, "Chat, chat" for to make fairness of air.

Your mother is so overweight that she is emotionally distressed about her physical condition and appearance.
Your mother is so overweight that I would like to refer her to my personal trainer.
Your mother is so uneducated that she went to an inner city public school.
Your mother is erroneous because she fails to excogitate.
Your mother is so confident that she pontificates.
Your mother engages in malfeasance regularly.

You're a history major? I study the future, it saves me a lot of time.

You faked your birth.

Slice bunion ocean

I'm your nurse, I'm here to draw blood (pulls out red crayon)
2008 Piemerica
Written by Emperor MAR
Jibber Jabber
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