Piemerican Knews
The National Glass Eaters Competition

The National Glass Eaters Competition has taken place. Competitors are competing one of the world’s most dangerous sports, which takes the idea of “Extreme Sports’ to a new level. The competitors must survive three rounds which each more challenging than the last.

  • Round 1: Eating thin eye glasses, old camera lenses, and light bulbs
  • Round 2: Eating jars of preserves (minus the preserves), small windows, and swinging florescent light obstacle course
  • The Finals: Swinging from a chandelier while eating it, drinking water out of a glass while eating it as to not spill a drop (of anything), and the grand finale completely eating a windshield by jumping onto a speeding car with one’s teeth & belching with delight after not falling off of the constantly swerving hood.
Only one man could conquer all of these events so here’s to you…
2006 Piemerica-Incorperated-Eternally

Written by Emperor MAR for school project
September 26, 2006