Piemerican Knews: Pie Eating On The Decline

Due to the recent lack of money & holidays pie eating has been on the decline lately. Emperor MAR stated "I just don't have the money now to buy pie & since there are no 'eating' holidays, no one will give me any."
"The world has been on a steady decline of pie eating since Piemerica was established in 1998. This mostly due to the Piemericans themselves not sharing." remarked Statistic Man. Just look at these graphs:

Piemerican President (The Joe) Legend stated that he would leave the solution to Real Name, Real Name had this to say
"We must start to spread P-I-E around the world, by the end of this year I plan to have a Piemerican Embassy in every major nation in the world."
(The Joe) was then informed by Emperor MAR that they had a lot of enemies around the world & (The Joe) declined the embassy idea. Emperor MAR then ordered Real Name to be brutally murdered. Before this could take place,
(The Joe) informed Emperor MAR that a new shipment of pie had arrived at
The Ultimate Tower of Destruction! (P-I-E HQ). Real Name then ordered the steam puppet guards to let him go.
At the end of the day Pie eating was on the rise again & Real Name wasn't going to be made into pie after all.

2003 Piemerica-Incorperated-Eternally

2/11

Written by (The Joe) Legend