Since I was born I knew there was a God but I never knew you could have a personal relationship with him. I was born into a family with a mother, father, and two sisters, one sister being my twin. My mother would go to the Catholic Church every Sunday and I would go on the days she made me. I grew up as a country girl. On the weekends I would be on my fathers side when he worked in the fields and took care of all the animals. I grew up in a small town where teenage drinking is acceptable, but I guess I can also say I grew up in a world where teenage drinking is acceptable. My mother and father were two different people. My mother wanted a better life for herself and her children. My father on the other hand would think it’s ok if he gave his child a beer. My mother ended up divorcing my father when I was fourteen years old.

We moved closer to town. My oldest sister already moved out by the time my parents divorced but my twin and I left with my mother. She gave us two choices, either we could go to the Catholic Church in town or we could try the new Baptist Church. My sister and I already experienced a Catholic Church so we decided to try out the Baptist Church, besides we knew some of the kids that went there. We never would’ve imagined the impact going to that church would make in our lives. We started going every Sunday, which was a total shocker to me. All of a sudden I found myself wanting to go to church instead of begging my mother to let me stay home. The first couple of months went by pretty fast. I could feel this strange thing inside of me though. It came every time the Pastor made an alter call. I didn’t really know the significance of the alter call though. I knew people would go up and cry then everybody would be very happy but I never got the point until one day my mother went up. My mother gave her heart to Jesus and I realized this thing is real. There is something really there. Jesus just isn’t in that big book but he can also be in my heart.

My mother ended up finding a really nice Christian man and they started dating and ended up getting married in May 2002. My mother, sister, and I all moved into my stepfather’s house. We continued going to church. In the winter of 2002 my family and I went with the youth group to Branson, Missouri for something called Xtreme Winter. The last night there they gave an alter call and my sister went forward. I wanted to so bad but I didn’t. I don’t know if I was embarrassed or just lazy but something held me back. We came home and Sundays went on with my heart just feeling like it was going to jump out of my body until one day when my Pastor gave his alter call and I went forward. I was so relieved after I went forward. I felt like what my sister always said, “There is no doubt that she isn’t going to heaven.” Now I didn’t have any doubt. I knew one day I will be up in heaven with Jesus. I asked Jesus to forgive me of my sins and wash them away. I told him I knew He died for me and my sins and he is the only way to get to heaven. I trusted in him with all my heart and praised him for making me pure. I felt like nothing could go wrong. But then something did.

Your parents always tell you to watch who you hang out with but I just thought like most kids do, I could still have my morals and still hang out with them. Well that didn’t last. Before long I had myself mixed up in drinking, smoking, and drugs. I would go to church and be this perfect little Christian but leave and go with my friends on the weekends and do stuff I knew was wrong but felt like I had to do to fit in. Doing this didn’t take long to make me depressed. I was lying to my parents and lying to myself and trying to lie to God, which doesn’t make any sense now because He knows everything, but at the time I was trying to hide myself. I was ashamed in what I was doing but I didn’t want to change because I knew all my friends would leave me. I soon brought my sister in all this mess too. Until one day we both were sick of it!

My parents took us out to eat and we let it all out. My mother was shocked! But she took it so well. As well as a mother can do when her two Christian daughters tell her they are on drugs. But my mother and stepfather were there for us through the whole mending process. This happened a year ago. After I told my parents I went and told my friends I am finished hanging out with them. I explained to them about Jesus and explained to them I didn’t want to keep myself on this destructive path. Of course they took it all wonderful and gave their lives to Christ, Not! They hated me so bad and I think that was the hardest thing for me to do. I was not addicted to drugs or drinking. I didn’t even like doing any of the stuff I was doing. I just did it to have them certain friends I had. Now telling them this, they totally turned from me. It was so hard!

Even though I hated loosing all them friends I knew it was the right thing to do. I couldn’t change my life if they were still there persisting I stay on the path I was on. So I left them. I started getting my life back on the right path for me and for God. On June 24, 2004 I rededicated my life to Christ. I had been off drugs for almost six months and I wasn’t going back!

I started my own Christian Girls Support Group and started attending all the bible studies my schedule would allow me to. I don’t regret going through the mess I went through because I know I came out of it stronger than ever and I also know God is in control! There was so many times I could’ve wound up dead or in a jail cell but he did not allow that He knew I was going to run back to him with my arms wide open. I believe He wanted me to experience that because now I am able to help others from my experience. My heart is for God and only God now. No substances will ever get in-between us again! Jesus wiped them sins away from me and I am starting fresh. It has been over a year since that experience and I am stronger than ever now.

I consider June 24, 2005 the date I truly got saved, because that is when I decided to start living what I was confessing. I am now very excited for my future knowing God is first in my life!