Joe) personally recounted an interesting story on his 1939 late
night Sunday radio show entitled ďWhat do you joew?Ē Here is a
transcript of (The Joe) and his radio associate of that episode from
February 26, 1939.
(THE JOE), HOST: Good evening everyone and welcome to What do you joew? A radio program dedicated to me, (The Joe), and you the listeners. Joining me as always is my radio associate Walter U. Dewing
WALTER, RADIO ASSOCIATE: Hello everyone, Iím happy to be here. I hope you are happy to be listening.
(THE JOE): Tonight Iíd like to discuss a lecture I did at Dale Mồustache College this past week. They invited me over to tell the kids about my latest invention which I like to call the ATM, which stands for Automated Teller Machine.
WALTER: Iíve heard you talk about this. I hear it will revolutionize banking.
(THE JOE): Yes it will, and as I like to tell you viewers out there, Money Equals Peace, Money Equals Freedom, and Easy Money Equals Love. And I know that youíre thinking that times are tough but hey Iím tougher and Iím going to tell you why tonight.
(THE JOE): I started off by telling everyone why I invent things, what drives me to do what I do, how I come up with these revolutionary ideas, and how they could too.
WALTER: Wow Iím excited. Tell us how you did all of these things.
(THE JOE): Fat chance, they paid me for my lecture! Remember; Money Equals Peace, Money Equals Freedom, and Easy Money Equals Love. It was easy money, all I had to do was talk to them about myself.
I see.. well what can you tell us about your surely amazing speech.
(THE JOE): The second area I went into was the schematics of the Automated ATM machine.
WALTER: How redundant of you.
(THE JOE): Shut up, itís my show. I had some hired goons come in to confiscate all writing devices to be sure that no one was stealing my idea.
WALTER: Hired goons?
(THE JOE): Yes, that move didnít turn out too well for me though because on Friday an ATM popped up at the City Bank of New York. Iím not happy about that so I donít want to talk about it anymore.
WALTER: Well what about the rest of the show?
(THE JOE): Everything will be fine. Weíll just play some dead silence for another 12 minutes.
WALTER: I donít think the sponsors will be happy about that.
(THE JOE): The sponsors! What do they know? Have they ever revolutionized anything?
WALTER: Well yes in fact one of our sponsors is the Ford Motor Company.
JOE): Psst. Ford, cars are a joke, in 13 years no one will even
remember what a car was. Anyway I found out on Saturday the fellas name
who ripped off my idea, goes by the name of Luther Simjian. Stupid name
donít you think?
WALTER: Actually sounds quite classy to me.
(THE JOE): Well weíll just see how he likes it when I send out my boys Johnny B. & D. Wetzel. He wonít know what to do with his previous Ďinvention.í
Well folks thatís our show for tonight, join us next week as I give you a sneak peek at my latest invention which I like to call the View-master. Your kids will love it once it comes out. Iím (The Joe) and this was What do you joew?
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