(The Joe)'s Autobiography Millennium 2
TULS Tells - 1642

The one called Tuls entered (The Joe)’s cave shortly after the incident in This Place.

“Who are you? How did you get here? How did you know I was here?” (The Joe) asked with fear.

Tuls responded,
   “Those that survive are the ones who truly suffer. They become transcendent ghosts. I am Catastrosphere. You could say that I am from Norvon Mac as well. I started off as a program built by a corporation in the badlands of Norvon Mac during a time of drought. The yards of those citizens in the badlands were barren of all but dirt. Vain as our people were they made me, The Ultimate Lawn Simulator or TULS for those too lazy to say or read a few words. Versions of me occupied the entire badland area as the town government decided to spend money on outward beautification.”

“Meanwhile Pie Inc. was fattening the brainless AudiOcular watching masses of Norvon Mac with its pie. You were soon at the center of it, not realizing that your mentor was a selfish madman even after he destroyed the planet. My holographic program was meshed with the fire which made me go haywire. Already covering much of the planet I engulfed it all and in some strange kind of fusion I became everyone & everything Norvon Mac ever was and ever will be except for you and #7. You two were two of the biggest figures I ever had as a planet and the only outsiders to ever stick around.

“I’ve found a way to release all of what was MAR from my being. You, (The Joe) have had lifetimes worth of success on this planet yet you still want to live past your time. Is it for him? You know you were around long before he was, you form stealing spirit. What kind of creature looks up to a fool younger than it? You will now take him on and deal with the madness inside that I’ve lived with for so long, the madness of a planet but none madder than him!”

Catastrosphere melded MAR with (The Joe)’s spirit and then faded away.


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Written by Emperor MAR, TULS- August 7, 2007

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