Lessons 2006


Piemerica's Lesson of/for the Day Collection
July, August, September, October, December

July
Lesson Mania Week
7/10/06
Day 1 -4 Lessons
The best time to set your clock is at 12.

Men are dogs mainly because dogs chase cats.

It is hard to be self motivated but one sure way to get yourself motivated is to bribe yourself.

Lighting in the sky is like God taking pictures of us.

7/11/06
Day 2 -5 Lessons
Flashback Edition:
When someone says "Pssst" that means they've sprung a leak.

The best thing about the word best is that they couldn't have picked a better word.

If getting sleepy makes you cry then you are sleepy weepy

Should times sometimes override good times.

People who say "Don't get me anything" on gift occasions usually get something from everyone they told that.
If you really don't want anyone to get you anything you should go about saying "You should get me something!"
People will think you are a jerk & won't get you anything.

7/12/06
Day 3 -6 Lessons
When you don't have a paper clip just use scissors & clip the paper yourself.

A lot of people smoke but people in high-powered positions fire.

Girls are obsessed with looks & guys are obsessed with looking.

If your car doesn't start the reason is because you pushed the break.

One who is laying and sleeping is lazy or Lay Z.

The easy way to boss things around:
Go to the kitchen and be like "chill out freezer"

7/13/06
Day 4 -6 Lessons
You know you're in a good relationship when instead of wanting to ring each other's necks you want to ring each other's finger.

The reason red lights are red is because if you drive while one is on you can become red too.

Blood is a stain caused by pain.

The reason they call diarrhea "the runs" is because you have to run to a toilette often.

The word adjective is a noun.

Sometimes it is ok to split someone's wig, such as parting their wig's hair with a comb.

7/14/06
Day 5 -5 Lessons
Sleep is the one place everybody goes to.

Doors are a good way to exert dominance because you can push them.

Life can be confusing with all of the choosing that goes on.

The reason the word 'race' was used to indicate persons belonging to the same genetic stock was due to the reason that all races are competitions. Which is why "The Man" is always trying to keep a brother (black guy) down.

You can't be alone if you have a loan.

7/15/06
Day 6 -5 Lessons
Being on a fixed income is better than being on a broke income.

A dwelling is a place where someone lives. When one dwells on something they are living on it.

Most people's eyes are sensitive to darkness they can't see anything in it.

When is enough enough? When your definition of enough is too much.

Death is just around the coroner.

121 Lesson Mania! Book Exclusive Lessons Were Written Between 7/24/06-10/23/06. These lessons were not presented as Lessons of/for the day until 2013 (thus they are repeated in different order on the Lessons 2013 page). Prior to that they were only available tucked into categories in the book (except those that appear in the top 10 from this year). Here they are organized by date written.

7/24/06
Summer salt & seasoning salt is the same thing.

It is better to call fall autumn because it doesn't hurt so much

7/26/06
Money is the root of all evil and pirates buried their treasure which means pirates are far more evil than we ever imagined.

7/27/06
People never pay attention to their windows, they always look right through them instead.

More school kids use high lighters than it may seem by looking at their notes.

Thick fog can lead to thick log.

Take pictures of gum it'll last longer.

Pharmacist will prescribe you medicine because farms didn't insist you eat vegetables.

Tall walls fall and make you drop your jaw when it's on y'all.

Money can be expensive so that is why it is important to save.

Even though they are called 'waiters' we are the ones waiting.

If you're out of shape go back inside.

The best time to train up a child is on Halloween. This way you won't look weird dressing your child up like a train. Even better if you have multiple children you can dress them as one cart each with the fattest one or least favorite (same thing) being the caboose.

A drug addict’s favorite time of day is high noon.

Clown is the perfect occupation for cross dressers.

If you have a yellow belly that means you eat too much butter.

Cannibals enjoy foods such as ear rings, eye balls, finger food, ham hock burger, buns, ribs, chopped liver, hand shakes, & thumb tacs for freshening breath.

At revivals Methodists use the sprinkler system to accept people in the church.

Not even sunglasses could make the sun look cool.

If you ever think to yourself "It is hot as Hell in here" you probably died.

Offering people coins is a good way to get them to change.

Kitty cats' favorite types of instruments are stringed.

Money can't buy love unless it is Valentine's Day apparently.

The cheese stands alone because it cuts itself.

The grass is always greener when you sneeze.

The sky is blue all day and wears black at night it must be depressed, possibly because it looks beat up.

When the mob throws someone in the river there is plenty of concrete evidence.

Rock'Em Sock'Em Robots inspired Tom Cruise’s role in Risky Business

Big business leads to big consumers

Summer isn't a bummer but kids do get dumber.

The early bird gets the worm. This principle is also why your dogs & cats should sleep in.

Unlocked safes aren’t' safe anymore.

Chicken pox is still better for you than chicken nuggets.

7/30/06
Being a medical patient makes you patient.

There is nothing wrong with being perfect.

August

8/1/06

A brainstorm can be more dangerous than a hailstorm.

8/4/06
Full is as full as full is.

There's no tell'n what happened because there's no ask'n.

Stop signs are written in manuscript, quite deceiving.

8/5/06
Having a celebrity's signature as a tattoo is just like having life insurance.

8/6/06
Many fathers are bums because when in the car with their kids they are always looking for a hand out.

The worst kind of dentist is the one that is root'n & toot'n

Every boat needs a row bot.

Cerebral Pawsy is the name of the disease where a dog has a foot stuck in its head.

The best vehicle to get in a wreck with is an ambulance.

The reason why people refer to cars as feminine is because most car lovers are men & they don't want to sound gay.

8/7/06
Poor attributes need enrichment.

8/8/06
Water is better than fodder.

It is no justice when your to go drink is just ice.

Setting short-term goals for yourself can lead to a better life if you're on the right road.

Soldiers fill in the blanks with b_ullets.

People who repeat themselves are always repeating themselves.

You can't put a price on happiness except with a Happy Meal.
You can't put a price on love except with roses & a card.
You can't put a price on family unless it is bail.

Rock climbers usually get thrown off the stage.

A penny saved is a penny earned but in the south a penny saved is a penny ironed.

Hole punchers are useless.

Fraternities have punch lines without the jokes while hazing.

8/10/06
With balloons once you pop the fun does stop.

The underground music scene tends to be darker.

Lurch went to church because it rang.

People who do quality control at shoe factories have to pay very close attention due to all of the sneakers.

Cashiers handle the most money but make the least.

Don't shoot the messenger lest the message reads, "I am the messenger & I'm going to kill you!"

The best way to get to the root of a problem is to use a lumber jack.

When we start living under the sea high-pressure salesman will be even worse.

A sun set is a beautiful thing too bad you humans will never find that out. Ahahahahahar (Flies away in spaceship)

A cuckoo clock is when someone is hit on the head & it makes him or her crazy.

On certain occasions partners in crime have to part ways during a chase. The slower partner sometimes says "Make a run for it!" The faster, often dumber partner, confused runs for it but not knowing what it is. While traveling down the street in leg foot fashion he passes a sign then chooses to stop and take it along with him. Returning to the hidden layer with his partner arriving soon thereafter they begin to discuss the sign and the potentials it expounds regarding a run for public office. They decide doing so would be more profitable, stealing money wise, than robbing banks ever had been and thus another politician is born.

Teasing hair can be a good thing or a bad thing.

8/12/06
Most people don't sit in the streets so it is quite easy to be an upstanding citizen.

8/14/06
Tire irons do not promote tire traction.

8/15/06
Due to the current state of American teenagers, when one of them is thinking, everyone thinks that something is wrong with them.

8/16/06
Deaf people can hear at least one thing, silence.

8/22/06
You can have your appetite curved by a diet pill and still be curved afterwards.

8/24/06
People who are double crossed the right way become stars.

Open minded people need surgery.

It's easy to catch a train because it leaves tracks everywhere it goes.

Fireworks don't always work but fire works every time.

Business damages caused during a bar fight can be repaired with scotch tape.

8/25/06
Chinese shoes made of leather are called mooshoes.

When you act perfect doing so proves that you are not.

The reason why old tymey kings had multiple wives is because it takes a lot of women to do castle work as opposed to housework.

8/26/06
Being tickled by a deadly weapon is a conflicting experience. It makes you laugh yet it also makes you fear for your life.

8/30/06
1,000th Lesson:
Everyday is a new day. There are new things to learn and old things to burn.

September
9/3/06
A tidily wink is when you wink while crying.

9/15/06
The reason why white supremacists are bald is because they don't even like black hair.

9/17/06
Babysitting is the worst kind of sitting.

9/20/06
If an elevator's weight limit is surpassed a new seemingly unlimited wait will ensue.

It's good to be out of your mind because your mind is the one who should be in you.

Dogs & cats didn't used to be enemies until they started watching cartoons.

Kangaroos are the best at growing leaps & bounds.

Airplanes are like people because they enjoy taking off then landing.

If you ever loose your eyeballs the best place to look for them is.. oops sorry.

Thieves prey on the unsuspecting which is why thieves themselves never get robbed.

Single people, live everyday as though it were the last day of your life. Even better married guys, live everyday as though it were the first day of your wife.

When someone wins millions of dollars there are many screams & hollas.

Take it from me Emperor MAR, building an empire is tough. I know this because I still haven't.

Money well spent is spent on time well spent with family and friends.

Most people cannot keep a secret because they don't know where it is.

Daydreaming can actually help you concentrate.. on what went horribly wrong.

A prisoner is an inmate but a jailer is not.

Failure is a fact of life. This is why so many people have differing opinions on what failure is.

Winter could have been called fall because of all the slippery ice.

Award shows are famous for their thanksgiving speeches, which is why the losers don't get to make speeches.

It can be difficult to carry on the family business but to life guards I say dive right in!

Electricians shouldn't be shocked when they get electrocuted that way it won't hurt.

The Jolly Green Giant is jolly because he has never had to eat vegetables; he claims, "Eating vegetables would be like cannibalism to me".

Rock, Paper, Scissors isn't so good for settling disputes when you use the real rocks, cutting white paper, & extra sharp scissors.

People who get trapped in a maze never seem to say "I'm aMazed!" They should!

Hollywood's young starlets often suffer from StaRvation.

Reading and writing are the fundamentals of education but don't worry if you can't read or write itdle be aight just become a famous rapper. Yea boy a bonafide ho slapper.

9/21/06
Obese people can't afford to use cheap seats.

For some getting approved for a credit is equivalent to being sentenced in court to pay a fine monthly.

Posters are most often under a tack.

Burning toast can be disappointing especially from your boss.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery & the second largest cause for assault & battery.

The smartest thing on earth is the temperature in summer. It has like over a 100 degrees.

Mothers should be the one's who get presents on their children's birthdays.

Flashback Edition:
In and out that is what it is all about, digestion.

October
10/23/06
The first time someone was called a pig for eating too much was at a BBQ.

Book Exclusive Lessons End

10/31/06

During the month of October cheap restaurant owners just stop cleaning their buildings in order to get the cob web/spider decoration for Halloween.

December
12/15/06
Pirates were rich criminals with big boats and their favorite song to sing was "Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum"
The Origin of Rap Music



Top 10 Lessons of 2006
10. Hole punchers are useless.
9. It's easy to catch a train because it leaves tracks everywhere it goes.
8. Death is just around the coroner.
7. The reason why people refer to cars as feminine is because most car lovers are men & they don't want to sound gay.
6. If you ever lose your eyeballs the best place to look for them is.. oops sorry.
5. The best way to get to the root of a problem is to use a lumber jack.
4. Business damages caused during a bar fight can be repaired with scotch tape.
3. Not even sunglasses could make the sun look cool.
2. Being on a fixed income is better than being on a broke income.
1. Lighting in the sky is like God taking pictures of us.


2005 | House | 2007
All Lessons 2005-2006 (except some Flashback Editions)
Piemerica
top
Stats
2006 Daily
July- 31


October- 1

December- 1
33 Total
2006 Book
July- 35
August- 50
September- 35
October- 1


121 Total

Book Exclusive Stats
7/24/06- 2 Lessons
7/26/06- 1 Lesson
7/27/06- 30 Lessons
7/30/06- 2 Lessons
8/1/06- 1 Lesson
8/4/06- 3 Lessons
8/5/06- 1 Lesson
8/6/06- 6 Lessons
8/7/06- 1 Lesson
8/8/06- 11 Lessons
8/10/06- 12 Lessons
8/12/06- 1 Lesson
8/14/06- 1 Lesson
8/15/06- 1 Lesson
8/16/06- 1 Lesson
8/22/06- 1 Lesson
8/24/06- 5 Lessons
8/25/06- 3 Lessons
8/26/06- 1 Lesson
8/30/06- 1 Lesson

9/3/06- 1 Lesson
9/15/06- 1 Lesson
9/17/06- 1 Lesson
9/20/06- 24 Lessons
9/21/06- 8 Lessons

10/23/06- 1 Lesson