Lessons 2011


Piemerica's Lesson of/for the Day Collection
January, September, October, December

January
1/22/11 10th Anniversary of Piemerica's Lessons!
Comedy is for losers (of seriousness contests).

If cults had denominations they'd be called diffecults.

A good way to refer to nothing is by saying "almost something."

Jerks suck especially when I call them jerks. They get all mad and act like jerks.

If you don't like Wednesday you'd be like "When's this day gonna end?"

Naval oranges are grown on boats.

Europeans suck at being from somewhere else.

The sense of humor is taste.

September
Lesson Mania Week 2011
9/12/11
Day 1- 7 Lessons
If you tell a mime to mime its own business it will be a mime miming a mime. Then you will have a double mime and that's.. annoying.

Winners are quitters because they always quit when they are done winning.

If English is your first language then body language is your zeroth language.

The reason women like to be called baby is because it makes them feel younger.

Since when were bats and robins friends? Since April 1940 I guess.

I have a small apt. It is so small it doesn't even have all the letters.

Don't wait for someone to give you advice just go out there and take it!

9/13/11
Day 2- 6 Lessons
They say, "When it rains it pours" But really rain is just a bunch of drips.

When they combined bumper pool with bumper cars bumper boats were invented.

Sometimes people are told to give 110%. 100% is the most one person can give so to give 110% there must be a second guy giving 10%.

Some people are only afraid to be themselves when they are in trouble.

Eating dinner don't make ya thinner it makes swell up in your center

Asia Minor and Asia Augmented 7th are long time enemies.

9/14/11
Day 3- 7 Lessons
Putting a tiger into a bear cage won't make the tiger a bear but it will make the bear cage a tiger cage.

Sound advice is easy to give just give advice out loud.

11AM and 12AM are a lot farther apart than you'd think.

I figured out how Christians can be in Christ. It is because God is holy.

When it comes to food the mouth is like a bad bouncer or security guard. It is like, "Ooh you taste good! Come on in fellas!" and the rest of the body suffers for its choices while the unhealthy food wrecks up the place.

Sometimes it is now.

Ignorance is bliss. That is why it is fun to act ignorant.

9/15/11
Day 4- 7 Lessons
Fun Food Fact: The Hamburger was named after the French and Indian War.

Fun War Fact: There aren't any.

Moon walking a dog sounds like a lot more fun than walking a dog.

The original name for the football huddle was "team hug" but the coaches felt bad because they were left out. So it was renamed huddle which is a French word meaning, "That hug thing that sports guys do."

The stupidest question is "Is this a Question?"

Retired is like regular tired but tired again because you are old.

Don't put a toy cow skull in your little sister's bed. She's gonna wake up with a skull in her face! Well I guess she always does that.

9/16/11
Day 5- 7 Lessons
Slang is not cool.

Someone coined the phrase "coined the phrase."

Shampoo first sounds like the last thing you would want to put in your hair. Sham and poo. But if there is any kind poo that I'd touch it would be sham-poo.

All profanities originate in the French language.

Facts suck! Except the ones that I like.

You know you are afraid of gossip when you won't name your daughter because you are afraid someone will talk about her behind her back.

The sarcastic remark "very original" is very unoriginal.

9/21/11
The hippest way to say that you are about to cry is to say, "Immma rock a tear."

October
10/19/11 Piemerica's Double Chicken Lessons of/for the Day
Regardless of if the chicken or the egg came first it was tasty right from the start.

Chicken fries would be called "fried chicken" if the name had not already been taken. Unfortunately the name "French fries" was also taken.

10/20/11
As dirt is bad for appearances so dirty words are bad for soundpearances.

10/21/11
People go out to lunch because they are into lunch.

10/22/11
Remixes dare to grant the wish of, "I wish this repetitive pop song was even more repetitive."

10/23/11
If you ever hear fresh squeezed orange juice being advertised don't believe it because juice can't be squeezed.

10/24/11
The top hat had an unsuccessful sequel called the bottom hat. It was essentially portable chamber pot. Although it came in handy for many a dandy even the French found it too foul.

December
12/20/11
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose. Unfortunately his brother Barry the black nosed reindeer didn't and one foggy Christmas Eve he was hit by a car.

12/21/11 Flashback Edition (Top 3 from 12/15/04)
The one thing Santa Claus wants for Christmas is royalties for all the places his likeness has appeared.

12/22/11
Perhaps the best thing to have encyclopedic knowledge of is an encyclopedia.

Top 5 Lessons of 2011
5 .The sarcastic remark "very original" is very unoriginal.
4. Asia Minor and Asia Augmented 7th are long time enemies.
3. Putting a tiger into a bear cage won't make the tiger a bear but it will make the bear cage a tiger cage.
2. Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose. Unfortunately his brother Barry the black nosed reindeer didn't and one foggy Christmas Eve he was hit by a car.
1. Fun Food Fact: The Hamburger was named after the French and Indian War.

2010 | House | 2012
All Lessons 2010-2011 (unless noted)
Piemerica

top