Piemerica's Lesson of/for the
Boulevard sounds French especially when French guys say it.
Pollution is so terrible because it makes you hate air.
The reason "noodle" is a slang term for head is
because it was named before the proliferation of Italian food in
America and someone confused a meatball for a noodle.
The one time someone tried to reinvent the wheel and it worked was when the boat was invented.
Night vision goggles would be cooler if there were no day time.
"Heads up" actually means "Heads down so no one gets smacked in the face!"
The brain is what you knows with. That and the nose.
If you are sitting up you are sitting up and sitting down at the same time.
When dreams come true a dreamer becomes a realist.
I don't know why 3D is such a big deal. Before movies and television everything was in 3D.
Chauffeurs make the best minions. They never steer you wrong, although
if you're their boss you should be steering them.. Chauffeurs are a
complex people. Mad props for life to all those chauffeurs out there.
You know who you are.
Gangs are "for life" because the lives of most gang members don't last long.
"Mosey! Mosey! Mosey!" has never been a chant at a race.
Lesson Mania Week 2012
Day 1- 4 Lessons
Hunter orange is the best gang color because it will keep you from getting shot.
People talk about coasting through life as if it is boring but roller coasters are fast & exciting.
If someone asks you, "What makes you tick?" say, "Swiss engineering."
The Olympics is the thing with the Physical Mathletes.
12/18/12 Flashback Day
Day 2- 4 Lessons
To find out if someone is materialistic when you engage in conversation
with them ask them, "Do you want to talk about matter or matters?"
You can tell jocks named sports because of the names of each sport.
Baseball, basketball, football. No thought went into these names. They
just pointed & said what they saw.
The cardinal Halloween candy giving mistake is when the kids say,
"Thank you" & then you say "Anytime" and you have kids hounding you
for candy everyday for the rest of your life!
Since Romney lost all oven mitts are to henceforth be called oven obamas.
Day 3- 6 Lessons
The difference between jello and jello mold is a few weeks.
Umlaut is a very good word for a sideways colon. ¨
People talk about having fun but never say anything about how to go about getting fun, lousy elitists.
Being in a boat is not an excuse to chew the moon.
There are six key points to most keys.
When someone ends a sentence with "Don't you think?" say, "I do think, but not about that."
Day 4- 11 Lessons
They say "diamonds are a girl's best friend." Unfortunately for most girls they are imaginary friends.
Some detectives can "put a finger on it" but it just doesn't really help.
My cat Rambo sat on my pillow & I said, "Move Rambo, I need max
head room." When you have a full house there is going to be growing
pains but remember family matters.
You are a rebel if you turn up the treble instead of the bass.
The reason glass toilet seats are not popular is because people are afraid that they will cut your butt or strainus your anus.
Escaping from a prison is incredibly easy.. if you aren't a prisoner.
Just run out of the front door & yell "I've escaped" & be ready
to get put onto dozens of people's "to murder when I get out" list.
A bar of soap really lets the suds fly.
You spoil your milk every time you give it sugary cereal.
If you have trouble remembering things then don't try to memorize this lesson.
If you are a bird watcher, take my advice. It is easier to put the watch on their leg than on their wing.
School sucks & pre-school sucks but post-school is awesome.
Day 5- 9 Lessons
Some people get offended when you tell them "Merry Christmas" &
that you are supposed to say "Happy Holidays" instead. But that is
twice as offensive because it involves at least 2 holidays. One of
which may be Christmas anyway.
When someone says, "Don't ask me why" instead ask them "Z?"
The best way to handle hoarders is to deport them to a 3rd world
country. They still get to live in filth but they won't have any money
to hoard anything.
You can tell whoever first said, "You can lead a horse to water but you
can't make it drink" is a pessimist because he points out a negative
thing you can't change. The quote should just be, "You can lead a horse
to water!" Now that's positive! There is a plethora of animals you
can't lead to water.
There are two kinds of toast but sorry, you won't find either on Neptune.
Generals are in charge because they have general knowledge.
Floors happen when you are standing.
"You can run but you can't hide" is not a real rule in hide & go seek. You're welcome.
Everyone was born yesterday, just not today's yesterday.
9. If you are sitting up you are sitting up and sitting down at the same time.
8. Hunter orange is the best gang color because it will keep you from getting shot.
7. Gangs are "for life" because the lives of most gang members don't last long.
6. You spoil your milk every time you give it sugary cereal.
5. The one time someone tried to reinvent the wheel and it worked the boat was invented.
4. I don't know why 3D is such a big deal. Before movies and television everything was in 3D.
3. Everyone was born yesterday, just not today's yesterday.
2. When dreams come true a dreamer becomes a realist.
1. They say "diamonds are a girl's best friend." Unfortunately for most girls they are imaginary friends.
All Lessons 2011-2012 (unless noted)