On a scale of -5 to 0 how would you
rate your satisfaction with being literate?
Who told you about our ivory black
▢ A friend
▢ An enemy
☑ An enemy that thinks he/she is a friend
▢ What? Nobody ever tells me anything! They say I overreact & get
◪ I'm color blind to white & black . Instead I see eggshell &
charcoal. But not like you think. I see white as charcoal & black
as eggshell. Oh & sometimes I mistake lime green for lemon lime
green. And needless to say, oranges taste red to me.
Have you read
any words today (other than these)?
If you could
rate your mood on a scale of 1-7, leaving out 4-6, what
would it be?
Who has the most
film in their back pockets:
▱ Caged bears.
⧉ Beans with
has the best toupee?
❑ Punk rock
If you could
feed 1 sentient hobo a month what would you require to do it?
▢ A 2 tooth
❑ Having him
prove his sentience by typing 5 random alphanumeric unicode characters.
▱ Food, a
gettaway car, & a stayahere car.
◪ Proof of
sobriety & financial responsibility as required by your god
⊟ A "gentleman's
⧉ Running into a
hobo while having enough money to feed your nobos at home.
What kind of
milk makes you thirstiest?
▣ Space milk
▥ Homemade milk
(made from water & chalk)
☑ Moth milk
⊡ The one with
the ball peen hammer that says I can't have any more milk unless I
finish my cookies.
I see myself as
a went gotter.
☒ Strongly agree
disagree to agree to disagree
How many [insert
nationality you are least favorable of here] does it take to screw in a
◪ ?/? (Whatever
fraction of the body a single hand is)
▱ It depends on
if they are alive.
How likely are
you to take this survey?
◈ You know the
deal, your existence must be ignored.
is your legal
How many silk hacksaws I can put you down for?
⧉ 6.12 (7th one is damaged, you get the 1/8 at a discount).
I'm not sure how many silk hacksaws it would take to kill me. As a saw
I'd die of old age before it could kill me. Oh? It's frozen silk? Ech,
I don't want to think about this right now!
Where is the best place to keep an extra umbrella?
❑ In a 1970s science book.
☒ In science
☑ Outside of the realm of science
Which organ is your favorite to donate weekly?
☑ Heart (metaphorically)
❑ Skin (it's the biggest organ so that makes me the biggest hero!)
☒ Pancreas (because you love unnecessary surgery)
What is your ideal date?
❑ April 29, 2017
❑ Barmundah 21, 1733
❑ Sha'ban 2, 1438
❑ Iyar 3, 5777
❑ April 16, 2017
☑ That new calendar we'll use after the apocalypse later today.
How easy was it to take this survey?
❑ Easiest ever
❑ Easiest thing ever in life
☑ Easiest thing in the history of the world
☒ You're making it sound like this is easy for everyone else & I found it hard so now I am internally despondent.
❑ It was so hard I didn't finish reading it or anything else you've ever written thus my opinion doesn't count.
Do you hate it when musicians play by ear?
☑ Of course, that's too loud! Back up, get out of my bubble!
☒ If it's a drummer I'll stop my horse & listen for a bit.
❑ I hate music in general that's why my flamethrower auto-activates upon detecting monophony.
Which flavors of lemon do you like?
☑ Monkey Bread
☑ Skittle Fish
☑ Gasoline & tar
☑ BBQ Rope
How long does the gum's flavor last?
▱ I've never tasted my gums before. I guess I'd have to stop brushing for a very long time to do that.
▱ I always spit it out before the flavor's gone because it isn't strong enough.
▱ Flavor can end?
▱ When I wake up in the morning it doesn't taste the same.
⧉ My gum's flavor is mayonnaise & (dusty) light bulbs, thankfully the flavor is gone before it reaches my buds.