The Piemerica Shoppe
"We've got the most schlock in stock!"
"All items guaranteed to be perfect or less!"

Soft Wear, Literature
Soft Wear
For all of your public decency code needs.
Piemerica White T-Shirt

Piemerica/(Please Grow up toast)
Description: Piemerica the bizarre creative organization brings you a shirt with it's timeless logo on the front & classic mini-comic Withered Post Card on the back.
Optimistic View: Piemerica is Hep Daddio!
Pessimistic View: Your toast may not grow up.

┬╗Buy ($28.00 & up) Dozens of styles and colors!

Piemerica Vectrex Custom Eyes Dark T-Shirt

Piemerica P-I-E Entertaining Few Ideas
Description: Piemerica Vectrex style shirt with original art.
Optimistic View: Vectrex is public domain so we can rip it off for free!
Pessimistic View: The shirt lies, Piemerica entertains many ideas just not entertaining ideas.
┬╗Buy ($20.00) Available in 8 colors!

T-Shirt for Women
I'm Up Here Ringer T-Shirt

Tired of telling men where you are?
Women's Optimistic View: No excuse for a man to look at your chest.
Women's Pessimistic View: Arrow theory doesn't work with pants.
Men's Optimistic View: Women often wear shirts with writing over the chest then have the audacity to pretend to be offended when a man looks at her chest to read what her shirt says.
Men's Pessimistic View: No excuse for you to look at her chest.
┬╗Buy ($18.00) Available in 3 colors!
┬╗Buy ($18.00 & up) Dozens of styles and colors!
T-Shirt for Illiterates

If you can read this please tell me what it says.
Description: It doesn't seem to matter what description is put here. Illiterate people (aka American High School Students) are stupid and should know how to read because there is plenty of opportunity to learn because you learned how to watch tv you deadbeat!
Optimistic View: If you are illiterate this shirt says anything you want it to say!
Pessimistic View: If you're not illiterate you'll have to tell some moron what this says because you're too lazy to teach them how to read, shame on you.
*Note, reading with a funny accent is not the same thing as being illiterate.

┬╗White T ($10.00) ┬╗Buy ($14.95 & up) Dozens of styles and shades!
T-Shirt for the Sleepy

Instead of Being Interesting I'm Just Resting.
Find it a hassle to be on the ball all the time while constantly maintaining the life of the party?
Optimistic View: Let people know to bug off because you are asleep or resting.
Pessimistic View: People may find this shirt interesting and bother you about it.
┬╗White T ($10.00) ┬╗Buy ($14.95 & up) Dozens of styles and shades!
T-Shirt for the Transitional

I hate shirts that say stupid things like this.

Tired of obnoxious shirts with boring phrases about mental illness and 'issues'?
Optimistic View: Let everyone know how much you hate shirts like this.
Pessimistic View: You become one of them!
┬╗Buy ($22.00)
T-Shirt for the Deaf

Talk to the hand because I'm deaf.
Just like Mexicans need to learn English, people who can hear need to learn sign language. Wear this shirt to let them know.
Optimistic View: If you're deaf you don't have to tolerate terrible radio stations.
Pessimistic View: If you're not deaf and don't know sign language and buy this shirt for yourself you're a hypocrite.
┬╗White T ($10.00) ┬╗Buy ($14.95 & up) Dozens of styles and colors!
T-Shirt for the Blind

Look out! I'm blind.
Can't see but don't have sunglasses or a dog? If so you need this shirt.
Optimistic View: Guaranteed not to offend any blind person unless read aloud.
Pessimistic View: Not guaranteed to prevent anyone else from being offended, also sunglasses cost less.
┬╗Buy ($15.00 & up) Dozens of styles and colors!

T-Shirt for the Blind

You ain't seen nothin' yet!
This shirt contains a blind person's favorite catch Phrase:  You ain't seen nothin' yet! Because as we all know only blind people have truly seen nothin'.
Optimistic View: You ain't seen nothin' yet!
Pessimistic View: You've seen nothin' if you're blind.

┬╗Buy ($14.95 & up) Dozens of styles and colors!
T-Shirt for the Stupid

Follow Me

Optimistic View: Enhance your leadership qualities! Meet interesting people!
Pessimistic View:  You're sure to get into lots of trouble wearing this shirt.
┬╗Buy ($22.00)
Lesson Mania! (Book)

Synopsis: "Some people will never learn. The sad thing is most of those people go to school." Now everyone can learn! Lesson Mania will learn you how to laugh, cry, & then sit staring blankly. Lesson Mania! will improve your life greatly as you carry on the knowledge of things that most people just don't realize.."The perfect time to run in slow-motion is when it's windy out, that way it fells like you're really like you're really going fast." Lesson Mania! offers help for situations of everyday life.. "If your zipper ever gets stuck use a zip code." Lesson Mania! will eqip you for success in the buisness world.. "A good idea can take you a long way if the idea involves transportation." Lesson Mania! indeed recounts precise history lessons most people tend to overlook.."Sadly in the 1980s many poor kids had to play with the other kind of transformers.." Lesson Mania! gets deep so even the most arrogant/intelligent people have things they can learn.. "It is not what you do that counts but rather why you do it. Unless what you do is count." And you'll even be more able to survive the mean streets.. "If a thug draws a knife on you wash it off." Lesson Mania isn't just hilarious it's huh?larious!
131 Pages -- October 2006, Piemerican Publishing
┬╗Lesson Mania! Webpage ┬╗Paperback Out of Print ┬╗Download PDF free
The Essentialness of Essentiality (Book)

Description: The Essentialness of Essentiality is an essential book, which gently wrestles with the requirements of being.
Synopsis: The first book by Piemerica, The Essentialness of Essentiality takes your mind places it has never been and leaves it there where you must use your own intellect to get back to a better home in a better world.
┬╗The Essentialness of Essentiality Webpage ┬╗Paperback Out of Print ┬╗Download PDF free 
Piemerican Magazine #3

Description: Full color comedy magazine. Read issues 1 & 2 for free.
Synopsis: Don't waste your time on other magazines that give you bias news and lower your self-esteem when Piemerican Magazine can do the same things but in strange new ways. Makes a great gift for loved ones and hated ones! Don't ask your doctor if Piemerican Magazine #3 is right for you just buy it and find out for yourself.
┬╗Piemerican Magazine #3 Webpage ┬╗Download Free! (18.15mb) ┬╗Out of Print