Skillet Hats Speech Setup

Subject Area:  Hats
Topic:  Skillet Hats
Limited Topic:  The reasons to use skillet hats
General Purpose:  to inform
Specific Purpose:  The reason skillet hats are hats
Thesis:  Skillet hats cover well, block the sun, block hazardous head injuring materials, & give that good ole feel'n of being a hillbilly.

Facts about Skillet Hats:
1. Skillet hats can be used to fend off attackers
To Verify:  Take skillet hat & hit intruder with it
2. Skillet hats can be used to cook food
To Verify:  Put skillet hat on stove top down, put food in, turn on stove until cooking commences
3. When stranded in woods/other place (wink wink) & fire is available, skillet hat can be used as a weapon against animals, weather protection, cooking device (clean variety), spare tire, reliable plane metal, & way to bribe local yokels to help you get home
To Verify:  Get lost & try it.

 Opinions about Skillet Hats:
1. Skillet hats are the best hats ever
Why?:  Not all agree.
2. Skillet hats taste better than a 1.4682 year old flask
Why?:  Taste is a matter of personal preference.
3. Skillet hats will win the Super Bowl
Why?:  Predictions are always (maybe) opinions.

Expert Opinions about Skillet Hats:
1. "Skillet hats are great for hitting people, and other things. Penguins can't fly without skillets. Driving reduces intelligence. Hit the road quick" -Laslo PanafleX
2. "Skillet hats look best when accessorized with two strands of wheat in between teeth, jug boot, & barrel with overalls over it" -(The Joe)
3. "Kilts should wear skillets with newspaper clipping eyes and a glass pencil" -(The Pete)

Comparisons
Skillet Hats
baseball hats
Strainer hats
multi purpose (good)
look stupid (bad)
Glenn loves baseball hats (horribly bad)
great for strainin' (sad)
nothing else

Anecdotes:  (speak like hick)
"One day I was cook'n me blackeye peas in a skillet. When ma said 'hey son it's time to go.' So I quickly put on my skillet hat & it was 16 lbs. & it hurt my craintum"

Statistics:
1. Wearing skillet hats are the #1 cause of wearing skillet hats in the world.
2. In the last year 100% of people wearing skillet hats wore skillet hats.
3. Assault has done down because of skillet hats
4. heavy sack beatings up 900%

Fact
Skillet hats can be used fresh off the stove

Definition- a frying pan hat head covering, usually with brim

A frying covering headpan.

©? 9/29/00 P-I-E
Red text written by Laslo PanafleX

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