2001
2/7 Top 3 jobs to never give Laslo PanafleX
2/14 Top 3 Ways to Lighten up (not literally)
2/21 Top 3 Ways to Act Suspicious
2/28 Top 3 ways to not get juice out of a lemon
3/7 Top 3 Most famous quotes from (The Joe)
3/21 Top 3 Reasons to not listen to this top 3
3/28 Top 3 Worst Shoes
4/4 Catastrosphere's Top 5 unrelated things
4/11 Book Drinking Top 3
Top 3 Mania Week 2001
4/23 Top 3 Lessons
4/24 Top 3 non-violent things to say to not start a conversion
4/24 Top 3 ways to loose money in a business
4/25 Top 3 Worst Advertisements
4/25 Top 3 Best Advertisements
4/26 Top 3 days of the week [that don't exist]
4/26 Top 3 Rare Phobias
4/27 Top 3 Ways to Stop
4/27 Top 3 Moments in Mania Month
4/27 Top 3 #'s
4/28 Top 3 Worst storage places
2002
1/14 Top 3 Reasons (The Joe) Drinks Books
2/18 Top 3 Ways to get a hamster into a lightening rod
2/27 Bottom 3 Ways to Measure a Ruler
8/29 Top 3 Tips for Avoiding Sinking Sand
8/29 Top 3 Continents not Listed on a Map
9/29 Top 3 ways to find out if something is an alligator
10/9 Top 3 ways to win an ice war
2004
11/17 Top 3 Uses for an Oven Mitt
11/25 Top 3 Things that no one is thankful for
12/1 Top 3 Holiday Vacation Spots
12/8 Top 3 Uses for Legos
12/15 Top 3 Things Santa Claus Wants for Christmas
12/26 Top 3 Best & Worst Things to Juggle
12/27 Top 3 Resolutions People Wish (The Joe) would make
12/28 Top 3 Most Anticipated Movies of 2005
12/29 Piemerica's Top 3 Lessons of 2002
12/30 Piemerica's Top 3 Lessons of 2003
12/31 Top 3 Ways to Ring in the New Year
12/31 Piemerica's Top 3 Lessons of 2004
2005
7/6 Top 3 Answers to Questions
7/13 Top 3 Reasons a Man Works Hard
7/20 Top 3 Ways to Get Paid
2007
8/15 Top 3 Ways to Get Free Food
2014
2/2 Top 3 Most Humbling Shadows (Up Close)
2/12 Top 3 Worst Times to Sign Autographs
2002 Top 3s by Others
Top 3 Things to Give Savage Beatings to
Top 3 Things to drink a book with
Top 3 ways to get in trouble
Top 3 T.V. Channels
Top 3 T.V. Programs

Top 4 Athletic Activities
The 3 things a Pieuropian must do


TOP 3s
2001
2/7/01
Top 3 jobs to never give Laslo PanafleX:
3. Elementary School Administrator
2. Daycare Owner
1. Little league baseball coach
2/14/01
Top 3 Ways to Lighten up (not literally):
3. Imagine yourself drinking the sweet text of a book.
2. Refrain from Milking Logs at least 2 days a week.
1. Drink a Book

2/21/01
Top 3 Ways to Act Suspicious:
3. Cough loudly in Russian while looking at a wet box.
2. Be shifty eyed.
1. Act paranoid to throw everyone off & tap a quarter for 4 days.

2/28/01
Top 3 ways to not get juice out of a lemon:
3. Hold a lemon to a light & look up while rubbing on a grater.
2. Rub it on an open wound.
1. Smashing it in a bear's face.
3/7/01
Top 3 Most famous quotes from (The Joe):
3. What the Eat?
2. Drink Books
1. The Oatmeal Phrase- It smells like OATMEAL up in dis House AAhh YeaH! wika wika
3/21/01
Top 3 Reasons to not listen to this top 3:
3. It's about itself.
2. It's not funny.
1. It pointlessly wastes your time as filler material.
3/28/01
Top 3 Worst Shoes:
3. A shirt
2. A hamster
1. A knife
0. A flaming box
-1. A plugged in toaster
-2. A giant exploding castle
4/4/01
Catastrosphere's Top 5 unrelated things:
5. forks
4. shoes
3. doors
2. nitrogen
1. apples
4/11/01
Book Drinking Top 3:
3. A Book Drink a Book uh de Book Drink uh Drink Drink Book uh dee Books
2. KnirD skooB
1. Actually Drink Books
Top 3 Mania Week 2001
4/23/01
Top 3 Lessons:
3. If you say "ey look at me" beware for one of the people there may stalk you for the rest of your life.
2. When someone gives you a gift it is better to not repay them, than to lock them in your basement, feed them nothing but bow ties until they say "I admit I'm a leprechaun."
1. Remember a picture is worth a thousand words not a picture can say a thousand words, so stop torturing them in your cellar.
4/24/01
Top 3 non-violent things to say to not start a conversion:
3. Hello I'm (The Joe).
2. You got weasels on your face.
1. I sure love to talk about push brooms.
4/24/01
Top 3 ways to loose money in a business:
3. Burn down the insurance company instead of your building.
2. Using the classic sales pitch & then putting it into action,
 "We Burn Money!
1. Play hide & go seek with the funds
4/25/01
Top 3 Worst Advertisements:
3. It's 16oz. of goodness in a 12oz. can.
2. Disease Jelly fun for kids of all ages 11 and under.
1. Leaf Car Co. cars built leaf tough.
4/25/01
Top 3 Best Advertisements:
3. It tastes bad but buy it anyway. -Big Mac
2. NASA we waste your money & you can't do nothing about it.
1. It breathes, sees, smells, flies, builds, cleans, burns, etc. It's the aspects of Life!
4/26/01
Top 3 days of the week [that don't exist]:
3. Furday- cans are opened with sizzling.
2. Bigday- everything shrinks quickly.
1. Moftde- can anymore be said?
4/26/01
Top 3 Rare Phobias:
3. Fear of traveling back in time (which is impossible)
2. Fear of breathing fire
1. Fear of someone flying in your house taking your dust pan, breaking your shoelaces, & then eating your internet.
4/27/01
Top 3 Ways to Stop:
3. Set a time limit
2. Go until you reach a barricade
1. Fall Down
4/27/01
Top 3 Moments in Mania Month:
3. scripture Mania week Day 1
2. Final day of Lesson Mania Week
1. The Release from Drinking Books
4/27/01
Top 3 #'s:
3. 3
2. 2
1. 1
4/28/01
Top 3 Worst storage places:
3. electricity
2. fire
1. outer space
2002
1/14/02
Top 3 Reasons (The Joe) Drinks Books:
3. (The Joe) invented Drinking Books
2. When I was just a little boy I asked my mother what would I be she said I'd either bust crooks or Drink Books
1. I wanted to be part of the in. crowd*
*in. as in an abbreviation for insane
2/18/02
Top 3 Ways to get a hamster into a lightening rod:
3. jog
2. rock crackers
1. chimney whistles
2/27/02
Bottom 3 Ways to Measure a Ruler:
3. Use the ruler itself
2. Using the laundry hampers as a lawn gnome
1. bullet ridden sacks of cloth
0. Think
8/29/02
Top 3 Tips for Avoiding Sinking Sand:
3. If you put sand in your sink don't turn on the water
2. Kidnap the mail carrier & ask for the addresses of sinking sand
1. Walk into some sinking sand & say "GeT outta HerE!"
If this doesn't work don't struggle for you'll never get free.
8/29/02
Top 3 Continents not Listed on a Map:
-All Continents Listed on map no need for this-
9/29/02
Top 3 ways to find out if something is an alligator:
3. Say "Everybody look a crocodile" if you get mauled it was an alligator
2. Ask it "are you an alligator?" if it says noting it probably is or is not an alligator but if it says "yes" ask it "can I put you in a big cage and sell you for millions to a big guy in a large hat?"
1. Get an alligator & put it in a big fuzzy suit if the other thing laughs, it's an alligator.
10/9/02
Top 3 ways to win an ice war:
3. Refuse to use fire, this will confuse the enemy or it will make them feel sorry for you because of your gross ignorance.
2. Fire
1. Agree to sign a treaty, then sign a Twinkie, act like you're swimming in air for 14 seconds, and finally hit your enemy in the spine with an ice baseball bat.
2004

11/17/04
Top 3 Uses for an Oven Mitt:
3. Play catch with your oven
2. Poor man's glove
1. To put in fire.
11/25/04
Thanksgiving Top 3
Top 3 Things that no one is thankful for:
3. Textured cabbage
2. Invisible cactus
1. McDonalds Commercials
12/1/04
Top 3 Holiday Vacation Spots:
3. Life Size Balloon Town
Balloons so life like you'd think you'd fell in a puddle of mustard ice cream!
2. The Indian Ocean
No other ocean is as desirable to get lost in as this one, not even that secret one that the sewing magazines won't tell you about.
1. Piemerica
Feel like king for a day (legally you can only stay for 24 hours) in the land of idiots & the people who love them.
12/8/04
Top 3 Uses for Legos:
3. A specially designed home for your wax paper.
2. A fools ladder
1. Berry substitute on Eggo Waffles
12/15/04
Top 3 Things Santa Claus Wants for Christmas:
3. Royalties for all the places his likeness has appeared.
2. Anything but cookies & milk
1. New pants
12/26/04
Top 3 Best & Worst Things to Juggle:
3. Chainsaws
2. Midgets
1. Rubber Fire
12/27/04
Top 3 Resolutions People Wish (The Joe) would make:
3. Cut Hair
2. End Piemerica
1. Stop making inside jokes
12/28/04
Top 3 Most Anticipated Movies of 2005:
3. Fantastic 4 (not starring Mike & Chad Kroeger, Ryan Peake, or Ryan Vikedal)
2. P. Diddy in Puff Daddy & the White Chocolate Factory
1. Star Wars - Episode III Revenge of the Nerds
12/29/04
Piemerica's Top 3 Lessons of 2002:
3. If a thug draws a knife on you wash it off.
2. When there's nothing left to do dance! Cause dancing will cheer anybody up.... except the cripple.
1. If you have a problem don't use an escalator.
12/30/04
Piemerica's Top 3 Lessons of 2003:
3. If you can't beat 'em join 'em unless they're beating you
2. When I'm looking at my folder I have a paper view.
1. When arguing at sea don't go overboard.
12/31/04
Top 3 Ways to Ring in the New Year:
3. Use a bell
2. Make bad puns
1. Under a car
12/31/04
Piemerica's Top 3 Lessons of 2004:
3. The future is unforgettable.
2. Train owners in the 1800s were very bad people so that they could get much coal every Christmas.
1. Up & Down are opposites & that's why they like each other.
2005
7/6/05
Top 3 Answers to Questions:
3. Yes
2. No
1. I don't know.
7/13/05
Top 3 Reasons a Man Works Hard:
3. Greed
2. Need
1. A woman
7/20/05
Top 3 Ways to Get Paid
3. Work
2. Be a jerk
1. Smirk
2007
8/15/07
Top 3 Ways to Get Free Food
3. When you want something use terms like "borrow" "lend" and "I promise I'll pay you back."
Examples: May I borrow your sandwich?, I'm interested in you lending me a hotdog.
2. Only have a meal with people who are in a hurry, they are more likely to give you their food in that situation.
1. Go on a public hunger strike for a couple of days then ask the crowd to treat you to dinner, they'll do it.
2014
2/2/14
Top 3 Most Humbling Shadows (Up Close)

#3

#2

#1

2/12/14

Top 3 Worst Times to Sign Autographs
3. While inside of a bowled bowling ball (it's dark in there!)
2. While white water rafting
1. While not holding a writing apparatus
2002 Top 3s by Others
by J'Nan
Top 3 Things to Give Savage Beatings to
3. Book Spillers
2. Poo Poo Poo (Cats)
1. Kids



by J'Nan
Top 3 Things to drink a book with
3. Book (duh)
2. mouth
1. hands
by J'Nan
Top 3 ways to get in trouble
3. Poo Poo Poo (on church)
2. Give savage beating to school teacher
1. draw circles on bus windows
by J'Nan
Top 3 T.V. Channels
3. Off
2. On
1. MTV
by J'Nan
Top 3 T.V. Programs
3. Control Freak
2. Conan O'Brien
1. Simpsons
by J'Nan& }the Joemeister{
Top 4 Athletic Activities
4. Turn on Stereo
3. Watch TV
2. Tai Kwan dumb
1. Industrial Baseball
by }the Joemeister{
The 3 things a Pieuropian must do
3. NOTHING }Joemister{ ruler of All Pieuro
2. hmmm...
1. uhhh...