Thank you legs because you always stand up for me.
Thank you sky because you're always something I can look up to.
Thank you air for always being there for me.
Thank you eyes for always looking out for me.
Thank you elevator for lifting me up.
Thank you brain for letting me think for myself.
Thank you stairs for giving me the necessary steps to take.
Thank you blood for touching my heart.
Thank you barricades for keeping me on the right path.
Thank you gravity for keeping me grounded.
Thank you neck muscles for keeping my chin up.
Thank you eyes for seeing things from my point of view.
Thank you red marker for never making me feel blue.
Thank you elbow for giving me some body to lean on.
Thank you GPS for pointing me in the right direction.
Thank you car for regularly moving my heart.
Thank you sticky bullet belt for sticking a round.
Thank you colonoscope for touching me deeply.
Thank you nerves for understanding my feelings.
Thank you beef for never chickening out on me.
Thank you ground for being there to catch me when I fall.
Thank you drive thrus for always listening to me, except between the
hours of 11 PM-6AM. Hours may vary. Consult your local fast food door
Thank you heptagon for not being a square.
11/24/16 Thanksgiving Bonus
Thank you shoes for walking out on me.
Thank you wrist ligaments for holding my hand.
Thank you wind for helping me keep a cool head.
Thank you coat for warming my heart.
Thank you Christmas for keeping my mind on the present.
Thank you toast for keeping my feet toasty when I wear you as shoes.
Thank you mirror for always seeing eye to eye with me.
Thank comforter for not being hard on me.
Thank you Tri-Leg Dutch Oven for standing up for other oven minorities.
Thank you Irish tailor for cutting me slack.
Thank you non-archeologists for not digging up the past.
Thank you wrist splint for always being straight with me.
Thank you loud snoring for giving me an alibi every night.
Thank you red light for never letting me go.
Thank you darkness for never outshining me.
Thank you cheese for not cutting yourself.
Thank you sweets for never ruining my appetite.. for more sweets.
Thank you spine for helping me stand up for myself.
Thank you jellyfish for never breathing down my neck.
Thank you shirt for having my back.
Thank you keys for getting my motor runnin'.
Thank you nigh quill for being close to me.
Thank you preserves for being my jam.
Thank you sun for brightening up my day.
Thank you nodding for never telling me no.
Thank you dinosaurs for making sure all your Pangean Idol audition
tapes were destroyed along with you.
Thank you stomach for not turning on me.
Thank you broom for never sweeping me under the rug.
Thank you windshield for protecting me from windswords.
Thank you corn dogs for not having corny jokes on your packaging, less
competition for me.
Thank you balls for always being round.
Thank you bears for keeping your hands to yourself.
Thank you vegans for never having a beef with me. More beef for me!
Thank you tree for never throwing shade at me.
Thank you automatic transmission for being easy going.
Thank you evolution for not making a monkey out of me.
Thank you margin for teaching me to respect boundaries.
Thank you octagon for knowing eight is enough, sorry nonagon.
Thank you font for being just my type.
Thank you pistachio for coming out of your shell.
Thank you clock envelopes for takin a lickin & keepin on tickin.
Thank you pet duck for turning around and ducking whenever I say, "Hey
duck!" or "Hey, duck!"
Thank you waterfall for never giving up.
Thank you oxygen for always being there when I need you.
Thank you discarded roadside toilet for not taking any crap from anyone.
Thank you letter L for never being an accomplice in my misspellings of
Thank you boiling water for being bubbly around my dinner guests.
Thank you bean bag chair for never spilling the beans.
Thank you abstract paintings for not using colorful language.
Thank you candy for treating me right.
Thank you honey for making LifeŽ sweeter.
Thank you bidet for not blowing smoke up my tuchus.
Thank you automatic door for opening yourself up to me.
Thank you spoon for getting me the inside scoop.
Thank you eyes for seeing the glass is half full.
Thank you aeroplane for getting high with me.
Thank you dancing Santa next to the bird bath for not dancing around
Thank you billboard for showing me the big picture.