1.    When I first traveled through time as a cave man I went to the Fire Dept. and I said to the guy there "You know I've been trying for a long time to make fire. I've tried rocks and sticks but it just hasn't worked out for me. Do you have any fire here?" And they said no. Since then I've been to every fire dept. I can find and none of them have fire. I just didn't know it would be this hard.

2.    Keep the Tennis Down
3.    What the Huk?
4.    Now it’s my turn to go in a straight line.

5.    I love food so much I could eat it every day of my life and be satisfied.
6.    I used to have a sweet tooth but then it fell out because I ate too many sweets. Now I got a sweet tum and it gets bigger and bigger with every sweet that I eat.
7.    The bread is breaking us.

8.    I had a close call and it made me wonder why they didn't just come over.
9.    I was talking to one of my culturally ethnic friends and apparently I said something insensitive and he accused me of hate crime and I said "Yes I do hate crime."
10.    Help! Help because I don't need any help! I just feel like I need to be able to depend on someone and that I'm missing out on a big part of life by only doing things on my own.
11.    Quit laughing at my expense when you know I'm broke!
12.    That guy was giving me a dirty look. Oh wait.. that was just a unibrow.

13.    The men's restroom was out of order so I went into the ladies room. Apparently it was the out of order sign that was out of order.
14.    [Siren Goes off] ..they still haven't caught me yet. Don't get me wrong I'm not a criminal. That was an ambulance. I'm just really sick.

15.    I remember now.. y'know because I wasn't continually thinking about it before hand.
16.    I wear a reverse mullet which means when I come into a room the party gets started and when I leave everything is back to business.

17.    ThEnd Is JusThe Beginning

Assembled & Organized August 15, 2007
All written by Emperor MAR in 2007 except #2 from 2000 & #17 from March 1998

1998, 2000, 2007 Piemerica-Incorperated-Eternally
Enornal Fornitude Published by: P-I-G-S

#16 was made into a video for the Boo! Bub? Boo. Bluh? Christmas Eve Special

Reverse Mullet