The Twenty-Fornineitude
  1. I may not be Norman but I rock well.

  2. I have seen a pillow with the "Choking hazard small parts" warning. Perhaps it should have a smothering warning instead.
  3. I'm going to make some bad pancakes and give them out to people. When the consensus comes in that they taste horrible I will call the recipe "panned cakes."
  4. I'd like to meet the guy who invented donuts. I'd ask him.. "Hey man can I have some free donuts?" Being the inventor I figure he'd have the most.

  5. Should I be worried about internal bleeding in my veins?
  6. Do women who want to keep their own last name when getting married ever stop to think that their last name came from their father and not their mother?
  7. If your A.D.D. was affected by your A.D.D. would you then have no A.D.D. at all because it cancels itself out by not being able to pay attention to itself?
  8. If you hate guns would you shoot a gun with a gun because you hate it so much?

  9. Considering all the live streaming video sites out there I was thinking to myself. "I should be the first to make a live movie." Then I thought, "What like a play?" And thus my dream of being a pioneer was crushed.
  10. I spell "recipe" as "recipie" because pie is so good that it should be in every recipe. That is how you turn spelling errors into succes!
  11. Falling in love is for girls. I never fell in love. I jumped in. That is what a man does.
  12. Spanish is my second language but I haven't gotten around to it yet.
  13. It is better than ever, but ever is not even that good because it takes soo loong!
  14. Oh I get it.. pick up lines are the opposites of put downs.

  15. Person 1:  What do you think about golf?
    Person 2: I don't really care for it.
    Person 1:  No, no. What do you think not what do you say.
  16. Person 1: Louie? Who is Louie?
    Person 2: Some guy with a name.

  17. Someone once told me, "You could stand to lose some weight." I said, "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea." So I stood there & I stood there & I stood there & I never lost any weight. More bad weight loss advice!
  18. When you are a kid or a teenager and someone makes fun of your weight there is not much you can do. But when you are an adult and someone does it you can just respond with, "You think I'm big now? You should have seen me 4 years ago I was twice as big!" And then they'll say, "Wow you look great!" Thus you have made someone go from disgust to adoration in less than one minute.

  19. Not being confusing confuses me.
  20. Sure we can pop balloons but how many of us can populate balloons? Are we willing to take residence in one for so long?
  21. Makes non-sense to me.

  22. God and I were a match made in heaven.

Assembled and Organized October 28, 2010
All written by Emperor MAR in 2010, except written #1 written in 2008 & #19 from 2004. #3 came to me in a dream.

2010 Piemerica
Enornal Fornitude Published by: P-I-G-S, Piemerican-International-Governmental-Society