1. MAR:  I live on Brown Street.
    Person:  Brown like the color?
    MAR:  No brown like the sound you hear when someone says brown.
  2. MAR:  :(
    Stranger:  Why are you sad?
    MAR:  It was a typo I meant to smile.
  3. Stranger:  Can I see a pic of u?
    MAR:  I don't know are you blind?
  4. Person:  I called you earlier.
    MAR:  I know but that's not my name so I didn't answer.
  5. Child:  My mommy said I was stupid.
    MAR:  She was right
    Child:  Really?
    MAR:  Yeah just not about that.
  6. Human:  I'm pretty sure that's amusing.
    MAR:  You're not even confident when it comes to what you are amused by? Your parents failed you.
    Human:  You're not aware of sarcasm?
    MAR:  I'm not good with geolgraphy. I don't know much about casms, sorry.
  7. MAR:  Somehow being a critic is considered clever these days. That is like a guy with a sign pointing at a fire calling himself a firefighter.
    Human:  That literally made no sense
    MAR:  I used an existing language so it couldn't have LITERALLY made NO sense. Only something that lacks the palpability of the 5 senses could LITERALLY make NO sense to us.
    Human:  oh you were being literal to the nth degree?
    MAR:  Literal doesn't have degrees. That is the point of it!
  8. Human:  How are you doing?
    MAR:  I feel like a shelf caught in a windstorm while wiping a chuckwagon.
    Human:  ooh is stormy where you are?
  9. MAR:  I had a horse in my circus days that walked on four globes. We called him the globe trotter.
    armyghost88:  I once digested a diary and drew the perfect parallelogram.
    MAR:  Was it the diary of a bear ghost with teeth? Because they are the only ghosts with teeth.
    armyghost88:  I have yet to see such shining sails and rubber hoses. I doused the treble in the orange paint and kept on marching.
  10. Mabel:  That's really dangerous. The guy from Blendtec says so all the time.
    MAR:  He talks too much then.
  11. David:  Do you smoke pot?
    MAR:  What is that like boiling water on a grill?
    David:  Ur joking right? Cause I hope so cause its a pretty funny joke
    MAR:  I'm not sure b/c ever since I saw the joker in that batman movie I'm not sure if jokes are supposed to be funny or scary.
    David:  can I send pics to this.number?
    MAR:  If you have any pictures of air or time or thoughts I'd like to see those because I've never seen any of those before.. at least not without misting the air.
    David:  Haha ok dude ur turning a little weird so ima say goodbye now :)
    MAR:  That's good because the only time you can say it is now, except you did it in the past too... but you totally can't say it in the future, that much I assume. -Reverse Greetings
  12. Mike:  So what's the US like?
    MAR:  We have more bunny graves in the US than anywhere else in the world!
  13. Mike:  ..i tried but i gave up
    MAR:  who'd you give it to?
  14. MAR:  oh no i didnt jst msplel somtehing! uhg 'im so embarissed
    Class:  Are you now?
    MAR:  I don't know when else I would be.
    Class:  so do you eat nonsense for breakfast?
    MAR:  I eat non-cents for breakfast.
    Class:  I was quite certain on that one
    MAR:  yeah only rich guys named Rich eat money. Narcissistic clods!
    Class:  and you are one of them?
    MAR:  No, I'm all six!
    Class:  [Leaves Chat]
  15. Tyler:  where have you been all my life?
    MAR:  eating toast AT GUNPOINT!
    Tyler:  oh no, quick, is there butter?
    MAR:  Pre-melted on random pieces. That is the real torture!
  16. Human:  Is your birthday next month?
    MAR:  What are you talking about? I think it is pretty obvious that I was already born.
  17. MAR:  My favorite hark is "hark hark." How many harks can you fit into a noise made by your tire nails?
    Stranger:  SHHHHHHHH
    MAR:  I'm counting 8 abbreviated harks there. Impressive
  18. Kerry:  yay
    MAR:  Did you just say yay backwards?
    Kerry:  sure did
    MAR:  yay is like two thugs taking away an a
    YaY is a house between large powerlines
    427 looks like a groovy bus
  19. Stranger:  This conversation is going well, don't you think?
    Me:  I do think, but not about that
  20. MAR:  Say a generic compliment to your stranger that would actually apply to someone you've never seen or spoke with before.
    Stranger 1:  I bet you breathe oxygen real well
  21. Lori:  Don't ask me why..
    MAR:  Z?
  22. MAR:  bros bros sounds less manly than bros
    Justin:  bro slow down the weed man
    MAR:  How can I be expected to stop the wind? You want me to put a barn around the weed?
    Justin:  what happen to you dillon u used to be sombody i could trust
    MAR:  I changed my name to Sachel Book to show up Sachel Paige that's what!
    Justin:  no canada man, canada
    MAR:  I just mispelled canada 3 times. uanada sanada aanada & it came out as USA
    Justin:  that is isane man
    MAR:  see you just mispelled too, proving that it is sane
    Justin:  I can't spell to save a dying rabbit
    MAR:  looks like you spelled it right to me
  23. MAR:  I was hired by SPAMŽ to have meaningful conversations online to improve their image. How meaningful would you rate this conversation on an electronic scale of Aleph to Yod?
    Edward:  Bet.
    MAR:  with Aleph being the highest or lowest?
    Edward:  I think it's the lowest.
    MAR:  Ok. One final question then. Has this conversation made you depressed enough to eat SPAMŽ? Diet is so important. Eat more SPAMŽ (visit or your local grocer).
  24. Kid:  You're my hero.
    Hero:  I'm my hero too kid.

Assembled and Organized May 31, 2014 & October 26-27, 2014 & December 27, 2014
All convos with Emperor MAR in 2012-2014

2014 Piemerica
Enornal Fornitude Published by:  P-I-G-S, Piemerican-International-Governmental-Society