- MAR: I live on Brown Street.
Person: Brown like the color?
MAR: No brown like the sound you hear when someone
- MAR: :(
Stranger: Why are you sad?
MAR: It was a typo I meant to smile.
- Stranger: Can I see a pic of u?
MAR: I don't know are you blind?
- Person: I called you earlier.
MAR: I know but that's not my name so I didn't answer.
- Child: My mommy said I was stupid.
MAR: She was right
MAR: Yeah just not about that.
- Human: I'm pretty sure that's amusing.
MAR: You're not even confident when it comes to what you are
amused by? Your parents failed you.
Human: You're not aware of sarcasm?
MAR: I'm not good with geolgraphy. I don't know much about
- MAR: Somehow being a critic is considered
clever these days. That is like a guy with a sign pointing at a fire
calling himself a firefighter.
Human: That literally made no sense
MAR: I used an existing language so it couldn't have
LITERALLY made NO sense. Only something that lacks the palpability of
the 5 senses could LITERALLY make NO sense to us.
Human: oh you were being literal to the nth degree?
MAR: Literal doesn't have degrees. That is the point of it!
- Human: How are you doing?
MAR: I feel like a shelf caught in a windstorm while wiping a
Human: ooh is stormy where you are?
- MAR: I had a horse in my circus days that
walked on four globes. We called him the globe trotter.
armyghost88: I once digested a diary and drew the perfect
MAR: Was it the diary of a bear ghost with teeth? Because
they are the only ghosts with teeth.
armyghost88: I have yet to see such shining sails and rubber
hoses. I doused the treble in the orange paint and kept on marching.
- Mabel: That's really dangerous. The guy
from Blendtec says so all the time.
MAR: He talks too much then.
- David: Do you smoke pot?
MAR: What is that like boiling water on a grill?
David: Ur joking right? Cause I hope so cause its a pretty
MAR: I'm not sure b/c ever since I saw the joker in that
movie I'm not sure if jokes are supposed to be funny or scary.
David: can I send pics to this.number?
MAR: If you have any pictures of air or time or thoughts I'd
to see those because I've never seen any of those before.. at least not
without misting the air.
David: Haha ok dude ur turning a little weird so ima say
goodbye now :)
MAR: That's good because the only time you can say it is now,
except you did it in the past too... but you totally can't say it in
the future, that much I assume. -Reverse Greetings
- Mike: So what's the US like?
MAR: We have more bunny graves in the US than anywhere else
in the world!
- Mike: ..i tried but i gave up
MAR: who'd you give it to?
- MAR: oh no i didnt jst msplel somtehing!
uhg 'im so embarissed
Class: Are you now?
MAR: I don't know when else I would be.
Class: so do you eat nonsense for breakfast?
MAR: I eat non-cents for breakfast.
Class: I was quite certain on that one
MAR: yeah only rich guys named Rich eat money. Narcissistic
Class: and you are one of them?
MAR: No, I'm all six!
Class: [Leaves Chat]
- Tyler: where have you been all my life?
MAR: eating toast AT GUNPOINT!
Tyler: oh no, quick, is there butter?
MAR: Pre-melted on random pieces. That is the real torture!
- Human: Is your birthday next month?
MAR: What are you talking about? I think it is pretty obvious
that I was already born.
- MAR: My favorite hark is "hark hark." How
many harks can you fit into a noise made by your tire nails?
MAR: I'm counting 8 abbreviated harks there. Impressive
- Kerry: yay
MAR: Did you just say yay backwards?
Kerry: sure did
MAR: yay is like two thugs taking away an a
YaY is a house between large powerlines
427 looks like a groovy bus
- Stranger: This conversation is going well,
don't you think?
Me: I do think, but not about that
- MAR: Say a generic compliment to your
would actually apply to someone you've never seen or spoke with before.
Stranger 1: I bet you breathe oxygen real well
- Lori: Don't ask me why..
- MAR: bros bros sounds less manly than bros
Justin: bro slow down the weed man
MAR: How can I be expected to stop the wind? You want me to
put a barn around the weed?
Justin: what happen to you dillon u used to be sombody i
MAR: I changed my name to Sachel Book to show up Sachel Paige
MAR: USA USA USA USA!
Justin: no canada man, canada
MAR: I just mispelled canada 3 times. uanada sanada aanada
& it came out as USA
Justin: that is isane man
MAR: see you just mispelled too, proving that it is sane
Justin: I can't spell to save a dying rabbit
MAR: looks like you spelled it right to me
- MAR: I was hired by SPAMŽ to have
meaningful conversations online to improve their image. How meaningful
would you rate this conversation on an electronic scale of Aleph to Yod?
MAR: with Aleph being the highest or lowest?
Edward: I think it's the lowest.
MAR: Ok. One final question then. Has this conversation made
you depressed enough to eat SPAMŽ? Diet is so important. Eat more SPAMŽ
(visit www.spam.com or your local grocer).
- Kid: You're my hero.
Hero: I'm my hero too kid.
and Organized May 31, 2014 & October 26-27, 2014 &
December 27, 2014
All convos with Emperor
MAR in 2012-2014
Enornal Fornitude Published by: P-I-G-S,