Easter Bunny Story

Part 1Part 2

Part 1

   Once upon a time. Sorry, Thrice upon 3 times sadly. (The Joe) great book drinker, drank a book about rabbits. Strangely enough he mutated into The Horrible Blue Penguinator. It began destroying a map. No one should stop it because it kept going to gas stations & rest stops to steal more maps (although they were free). People knew that only George Clinton could stop him but he wasn't available because he wasn't born yet & no one wanted to wait 200 years.
   The only solution was for the most ignorant scientists in the world to build The Fire Lighted Camp Site.. no wait.. The Easter Salamander. After they found that styrophone cups don't equal a salamander, they got a bunny & gave it the name combined from The Easter Salamander & bunny, Sal The Easter Bunny. They hatched it out of an egg.
   The project was finished but The Horrible Blue Penguinator was no longer alive. That's right, (The Joe) sued the publisher of the book claiming it said it would turn him into a Green Penguinator.
   The end result is The Easter Bunny was then made out to be a pop-culture icon to help the struggling economy. Even all these years after The Easter Bunny has been mysteriously dead, it is still popular. The big corporate organization also used the Easter Bunny to out shadow & mythicate (The Joe) in the annals of history.

Part 2

   Back in 'ot 6 during a great war, General (The Joe) was battli'n & explosions were rattli'n. (The Joe) had went deaf when out in the distance he saw a bunny dropping egg shaped landmines all over the place. They were grenades! It was The Easter Bunny come finally to destroy (The Joe). 
   Later that day, the next year, The Easter Bunny sat down with our Piemerican Reporter.
   "I was built to destroy The Horrible Blue Penguinator who was (The Joe) Legend. Way back in 'ot 6 (last year) I found that living in a barn filled with yarn wasn't so bad. Oh yeah, & I killed (The Joe). The world refused to let Piemerica get the credit it deserves, so I had to wipe him out."
   During the interview the reporter was found to be (The Joe). He began to strangle Sal with one hand & drank a book with the other. In that Sal The Easter Bunny was no more.
   Yeah! Aliens teleported him out of there. The Easter Bunny became a great warlord. The press planted a sack of genetically altered potato skins to pose as the body, once again eliminating (The Joe) from the history books. Although if (The Joe) were in them it would encourage the drinking of books & no one would read past that.


Written by:  (The Joe) 3/20/02