¿Story of Life?

by:  Laslo PanafleX

                                                         Back in my day, people gave savage beatings daily, with baseball bats of course, but that's beside the point. In this industrialized world today, there are many complications. I was born in 'ot 4, and from 'ot 4 to 56, I reigned supreme, until 1 day it came to an end. I was standing around, hitting a man with a baseball bat, when all of a sudden, he died screaming in torturous pain.

|----------------------------------------------At that time, I walked away.

             I was hit by a car, not killing me, but breaking my spine. I rolled over and snapped it back into place. This was 1948. Anyway's, 1956 was just around the corner, so I sped up time and grabbed my baseball bat. I ran outside the street to the Burger King. The commercial said "have it your way," so I ran over there and screamed at the manager "gimme a burger!!!" and he said "get out of my office" so I beat him savagely and ran up front and said in an irish voice "give me a burger laddie, or you shall feel the back of me hand," so he gave me a burger and I punched him in the face and ran. I was thirsty so I drank a book and returned here.

                                                                        On the way I was hit by a car, killing me. Then again in 1985, I returned, giving more savage beatings than ever before. Years later, (1999) I got a cat a savage beating. By the end of it all, I had 3 stupid cats, and I constantly beat them savagely. I contemplated their murder every night.

                                                         When people wanted heart attack powder, they went out and got  it! Borax Cola, another great thing, came about in 1996, when kids no longer suffered constant savage beatings, and once again walked the streets, but then got savage beatings. Anyways ..... Sally Field was walking around like a savage beating, but let me reverse myself further to 1985. "There was nothing in Al Capone's vault, but i wasn't Gerardo's fault." But in 1985, many horrible things happened. Boy George, George Michael, Rubix cubes (that was a good thing .....anyways) Sally Field, old dogs that become puppies? But in 1997, the most horrible thing ever. Glenn

                                                         The worst band of all time But the 90's, for me, also provided chances on savage beatings where the average person could grab a baseball bat and give a few after work. Sort of a, Savage Beating revolution going on. It was great, but that's about all that happened in the 90's.

                                                         In the 2000's, stuff happened. Like the election, which is a massive conspiracy. New Novelty Shotgun which end fires first? Who knows? Who cares? Since I know I'm starting to bomb, I'll stop here . Or will I?? No, instead I'll keep going, until I get a savage beating. So . . . . .

 

An Earlier attempt at ¿Story of Life? by  Laslo PanafleX
I got it as close to the original as possible without the big X over it.

 

                                                         Back in my day, people could fall into a pile of horrible jagged rocks and then dance later that night. Back in 'ot 4, people gave and received savage beatings daily, usually from baseball bats. Those were the good ole days. In 'ot 6 I was working for the city, shinin' shoes. Then I was a chimney sweep. Then in 'ot 9 I became the first man to give repeated savage beatings. Stab. A guy tried to savagely bat me, but I broke his spine with a baseball bat. Just as ah saw it, he was dead. Then in 1914, I was beaten savagely with a penguin. Back in my day, people didn't suck.......

 

Laslo PanafleX once did this as a monolog in a drama tournament.
He forgot the paper with the story on it so he did the same story and improvised based off of that. He continuously used props, which were illegal to use, and his monolog was well heard of.
I wasn't there but he told me about it and gave me one of his score papers see the scan of it here.
The one I have has a ranking of 1 being the best & 6 being the worst.
Laslo got a 7!
His total score out of 50 was a 16
The judge also noted, "I was scared!" & it was highlighted
All of this occurred in the year 2000.
The Burger King part written by (The Joe) used by Laslo PanafleX with permission
Ownership goes to P-I-E & PanafleX iND.

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